Friday, May 30, 2008

Oooh look, a pretty picture...

I think I'm going to just start posting random pictures on this blog; a bait and switch just to lure in readers. People like pictures-really they do. I've been near homicidal for the past couple days trying to figure out my NEW! sewing machine. The instructions look like petroglyphs and I'm a textophile. It got me to thinking, are we really that dependent on pictures, visual stimulation as a culture? Methinks.
I even stumbled across a thread in the Etsy fora this evening and there appears to be an inordinate number of people (can't be certain of genders based on avatars) who have an aesthetic ideal for penes! (The correct Latin pluralization of penis, by the way.) Have you ever? What are they going to do with these fancy phalli? Encrust them with diamonds (Swarovski crystals for the Sierra Leone sensitive) and hang them from their hybrid rear view mirrors, bicycle helmets and the like? Not the uncircumcised ones though, unless they are accompanied by a bundle of those pine fresheners because those bad boys are funky. Yep, that's what they tell me, "Those with the hood just don't smell good". Note: This information is not just ignorant banter, it is fact based fodder from the proboscis of an experienced schlong sniffer.


I don't pretend or profess to always make the right parenting decisions or to even know the right answer, but there has to be a better argument for maiming a perfectly healthy little person than trying to reproduce the pretty little picture of perfection in your mind's eye. That, and of course the pre-emptive strike on body odor.

I have given vaginal birth-yeah that creepy place down below, to two awesome, beautiful children and can tell you; there are few things funkier smelling than a dirty human. I'll tell you what, don a towel lined plastic bag, you done with that? Okay, lie on your back, vomit on yourself, and clench your fists. Now, urinate and defecate. Good, good-you got it. A short time passes. Now, tell me, do you smell like posies? Not quite, perhaps we should chop you up now and avoid any further worry hmm? Or maybe, just maybe you should start reading things that don't always have pretty little pictures. Winks.

4 comments:

Julie said...

Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Cutting off a piece of a child's body for aesthetic reasons - completely barbaric

teegee said...

You are a wise woman. Why oh why are "civilized" people mutilating their little boys?



and schlong sniffer indeed!

and that's lot more polite than what I was thinking last night :-)

High Desert Diva said...

..."based fodder from the proboscis of an experienced schlong sniffer."

Almost spit my coffee out reading that!

She's a Crafty Bitch said...

I have many a comment on this particular subject. Sebastian is circumcised, mostly because I was younger and not doing a lot of critical thinking at that point in my life. My thought process was nil. It was like "this is what is done, so it's what I'll do". So, by the time Dorian came along and Sebastian had experienced many troubles from his circumcision (skin re-adhering, constant yeast infections, lots of bad diaper rashes), we decided firmly against circumcising Dorian and I couldn't be happier with just how nonexistent the problems with his diaper area have been. I'm very guilt-ridden about the fact that I took Sebastian's circumcision so lightly. And I think it's hysterical how Dorian's "peanut" (that's what Sebastian calls it because he couldn't say penis right) looks like a teeny elephant trunk. Haha!!!

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