Yael is in a weird phase, she's trying on personalities like outfits which for someone like me, who doesn't deal well with new people is a fate worse than itching! (I prefer death to itching and/or nausea.) I'm just not sure anymore from day to day which annoying Disney Channel character awaits.
Yesterday she giggled incessantly until I threw her out of my room and she told favorite guy that, "I burst her bubble". I have never used this phrase, ever. Because he is the best thing since Tandoori garlic naan, favorite guy gathered the hyena and her hormonally challenged sibling and off to the movies they went allowing me to wallow in my own misery-okay scratch that. Their departure allowed me to gossip while creating two new jewelry designs, map out the details of my Buzzy Bee project and eat my roasted lightly salted almonds in peace and plain sight.
Today, in retribution for bursting her bubble, she asks in a seemingly Yael-like inquisitive tone, "Hey Mom, do you know what I just realized"? I turn to her and say. "No, Shoob, what?" She replies, "When you put your right leg forward, your right butt goes like this"...She then does a grossly exaggerated hip shimmy to the right. Not noticing that I've lost my loving gaze, she continues. "And, when you put your left leg forward your left butt goes like this". Yes, and she does it again. Now, I am fairly thick-skinned and, no that is not an excuse for the illusion of having two butts, but today on another exceptionally hot Arizona day with my Pitta Dosha quite unbalanced I could only muster up enough energy to request that she remain in her room for the duration of, "this stage of development". I'm known for coming up with cruel and unusual punishments, but even I was unprepared for this.
Truth be told, I'd like very much this week to do nothing but make stuff in my pajamas-even hygiene is questionable; I'm just beat. Buzzy Bee has been stripped and sanded and the mixed media shadowbox from hell is actually beginning to look like the project of my mind's eye. And, it's birthday party planning time, so of course I'm bound by the pressure; "Can I outdo myself again this year?"
Y'know, the toughest part of this journey has to be the fact that parenting happens on the express track with very few stops along the route, well that and, it's over before you know it. If Etsy's Antinatalist street team happens to be reading, please note again-I am not miserable, this is just one of the less joyous phases of the side-splitting comedy that is child rearing.