Monday, July 28, 2008

Monday Monday

Oh my, I'm a bad blogger, eh? I've been very busy-I'm not sure what it is I've been busy doing, but it sounds good. Oh! One thing; I've been shopping. Shopping was once my leisure and now I fear it has become hard work. I am apparently in the midst of the naked years. I say this because my options leave me no other recourse. It is either gold lame booty shorts or elastic waist polyester "reverse fit" trousers with the matching beaded caftan. I can joke about this now, but in the thick of it I was livid! Just what are 30 plus women wearing?

My signature style consists of A-line skirts, fitted tees, jeans, brightly colored sneakers and let's not forget the staples; Birkenstocks and the tailored white shirt. I'm not runway ready, but I'm always classically clad. Well not anymore. A-line skirts are ass cheek skimmers. Fitted tees are flowery frocks with frill. Oh, let us not forget rhinestones. Rhinestones and glitter abound, I'm a liberal hippie not Liberace! And jeans-this is when I knew it was time to come home and stare at my sewing machine, my choices in denim are few, the rise is either labia low or larynx high with nothing in between! Please for the love of my very meager sanity tell me what 30 plus women are wearing?

My trip literally and figuratively ended at Mervyn's where-joined by Favorite guy and Talkative gal, I went to retrieve Puberty Man from his four hour stint "servicing" (I've yet to see him in action, hence the quotes.) their customer base for an undisclosed wage. It was there, amidst the elastic waisted, reversed fit polyester pants and matching beaded caftans that I found salvation in a 70% off pair of (some brand I've never heard of before) figure flattering, labia covering, larynx sparing size 6 jeans! Thirteen dollars (Wonderful!) and many expletives later I have one, yes one flipping pair of jeans.

I also trimmed Anju's ass mats, attended OT for the hand, and became addicted to Swapbot. What have you been up to my darlings?


Smarty Pants said...

ah! by your description, our closets are identical. thrift stores work well for me. we call salvation army "sal's boutique". they have the best "retro" wear.

High Desert Diva said...

Shopping bites.

Size 6? I'm pretty sure that's the size of one of my thighs.

fly tie said...

i've been up to something similar, my form of clothes shopping: sourcing fabrics and coming up with ideas for a few garments i need to make for myself. plus hittin' up goodwill.

casserole said...

I'm totally with you on the jeans buying. Though it's been nearly two decades since a size 6 has seen the inside of my closet! By the time I get something that goes around my ample hips and buttocks, they gape at the back of the waist and show off the tops of my granny panties. (Why do all the pretty panties come in a thong only???) And don't get me started on the two-inch zippers... Why does wearing even slightly hip clothes require that I show ALL of my body parts??? I'd like to leave just a little bit to the imagination, thank you.

Kiandra said...

girl you crack me up! but i feel you. but i'ma be real. i hate to cuss but i don't give a damn!

i'm so over fashion! i so don't give a damn about whose creating what, and what came off the runway and what the heck anthropology has now.

i ain't got the time nor the patience nor the will to try and be someone's slave to fashion. i wear what i want, what feels good and what makes my heart sing. it may be fashionable and it may not. but ask me if i care.

i guess it came with hitting the 31...i ain't got time people. i got a pair of jeans i've carted into my 30's with me and i'm wearing them to the "heels fall off" and they have quite literally...but see being a serious 00 at 31 i don't got many choices.

i can go on and on, as to the sad state of clothing...cause i too don't want to show the labia...and don't want to cover the throat too!

see now....i'm all mad at i got issues.

the scored jeans are cute, btw.

and have you seen the overalls i've been wearing around the house from my pregnancy days...i told you i don't give a damn...and posted the proof on the "internets."

okay enough himming and hawing from me.

karen beth said...

You are addicted now to SwapBot!!?!? Go you! Fun, huh? ;)

Kristen said...

Oh, I love your right on description of Jean rises: "labia low" that is too funny!! Between that & the crack of your butt showing, clothes shopping has now become my least favorite thing to do.
I'm almost 41... that's almost painful to type(because I'm still 23 in my head)but figuring out what to wear??? I'm lost there too.
Maybe I should just sew myself a uniform~ my kids would be horrified :)

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