Saturday, October 18, 2008

T.Allen-Mercado Wants You!

Sans the gauche patriotic hat but, with all of the intimidation and, a large brown authoritative, manicured hand, pointing right at you!

So, the Universe in of all her perverse comedic genius has blessed Joseph and I- in all of our anti-social (some may say socially inept) genius with not one, but two, young "people who need people". Pauses to hum a few bars of the aforementioned song as not to go completely mad. The problem with people who need people? Rejection. Yep the big R. You're too tall, short, fat, thin. Your sneakers are smelly, scuffed, ugly, the wrong brand, color, size. The list just goes on and on and on.

We've spent the last day and a half reminding Yael that she is a perfectly imperfect 9 year old whom we love insurmountably. And, that the evil little heifers...er, I mean sweet young and naive children who weren't nice to her, just haven't learned the power of their hurtful words. In other words, they suck. Well, look it's what my previously-punched-in-the-stomach-so-hard-I-was-winded-and-crawled-to-my-door-for-wearing-a-pleated-plaid-skirt inner child wanted to say. Instead, I took the high (on Diet Coke and antidepressants) road and diverted her pain and disappointment into the making of recycled milk carton monsters. (Harrumph! I bet those other little letches mothers' aren't crafty recycled milk carton monster making mavens!)

For now, we're over it. She cried today while discussing it with the Favorite Guy because it "hurts to talk about". We think she'll be just fine, but if she isn't there's a contingency plan:
Now, the children in question are not 5 years old, but 1o. You will need to tweak your assessment results accordingly. I'm guessing a 10 year old versus the original 5 year old formula is about 1.75 : 1. Provided they haven't been previously incarcerated and are kept away from processed sugars and other preservatives. If not, let me just tell you Tea & Honey Bread is not responsible for savage beatings received by its readers. Laughs.
-Peace and justice for all

11 comments:

Beck said...

Ha! I often secretly think the same thing when some kid is mean to one of my lil' angels - "I am totally going to KICK THAT KID'S BUTT!".
Of course, the sad reality is that I probably couldn't take a five year old in a fight. I'm kind of wimpy.

Casbah Kitten said...

Kids can be so mean sometimes. I've never had children of my own and I honestly am blown away by good parents. Life's lessons can be pretty harsh and helping kids to navigate them positively has got to be a difficult and stressful job. You get an A+ from me!

High Desert Diva said...

Oy. Some kids can be so mean.

Bravo for the words of love and the crafty distraction.

fly tie said...

yeah, youngsters can suck.

too bad for them that they can't recognize her greatness. and what fun/creative parents she had. if they knew what was best, they'd be trying to get on her good side.

i got 12 on the quiz. i was cracking up at some of those questions and choices:

"To hell with morality, I'd be too busy pile-driving, crane-kicking, and bare-knuckle bashing them all the way back to kintergarten"

ha!

Yvonne said...

Oh my! This is horrible but you are showing her the right path. kids can be so mean that I'm often shocked by what comes out of their mouths. I was bullied as a child so I know the years of damage that it can do.

Your little one is so lucky to have such a fierce, funny and crafty mom. Just remember this too shall pass. thank goodness

Mequet said...

Haha! I could take 17! Man, it's too bad that we don't live near each other. My kids could play with your kids and they could all grow up together and defend each other against all the little bastards in the neighborhood. Damn kids. They're so mean sometimes!!! Poor little Yael. Give her an extra hug from her fake auntie Mequet.

Ms. Bar B: said...

Oh no! I see your little princess has met the same Bebe's kids that Renee's little prince did. That sucks so much and they suck even more. And guess what? Their parents suck even more than that and no, they are definitely NOT "crafty recycled milk carton monster making mavens!" So there! =)

I am still fearing the day that some little demon seed seeds my little one home crying. As long as we take the steps to build up confidence in our little ones their isn't gonna be anything crap that anyone can tell them that will ever break their spirits.

("I AM THE SHIT" t-shirt is on its way to your house in a size Yael)

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

I agree with HDD, kids can be mean. But I love your number of kids you can take on counter. Hilarious. I hope that your daughter feels better now.

Jewelry Rockstar said...

Yeah kids will make u want to F*ck em up when they are mean to your little offspring. Keeping cool and taking the high ground is definitely the right thing to do, then go and vent to your husband. The two of you can muse about how to whip some A**, then calm down and feel ashamed and justified at the same time.

Em K DUB said...

Well there isn't much I can add to what's already been said, but let me tell ya. When I was her age there where some boys that called me "Jupitar" (because it's the biggest planet. . .get it!) Anyway, it was pretty rough for a while, but if it wasn't for the continual love and uplifting from my Mother and other family members I woulda been pretty messed up I'm sure! Plus when I was in High school one of those kids that picked on me was in my religion class and we all had to write each other nice notes one day, and that kid ended up writing me the nicest one of all, so it's hard to keep the big picture in perspective, but I've come to find out those nasty kids can change, it takes time, but never let them change you!

Motorcycle Fairings said...

i agree with high desert dive, some kids are very mean!

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