Well, today I must have looked like a full on Louie. (Loo-ee n. one who is lacking in screws, cards or marbles, an empty home with the lights on, not tightly wrapped. 7:30. Screwy Louie) Now, have a sip, get a visual; power walking, arms swinging, neck rolling, lips pursed whilst mm mm mmm'ing and teeth sucking simultaneously. Ready? Okay, hold that thought.
I live in Arizona, despite the vortexes, crystals and other matters of paranormal, supernatural enlightenment, Arizona is a quasi-conservative, fundamentalist, bible thumpin', Johnny get your gun and never mind what Beyonce says, very much to the right state. Today, Ankarlo's cast and crew present the judicial travesty that occurred in a Canadian court when a victim was "embarrassed and humiliated...re-victimized", in a domestic disturbance court case. The judge admonished the victim, Melodie White as follows: (full story here)
"Thirty years ago . . . there were all sorts of women in houses where men had beaten them, husbands had beaten them regularly, and they could not get out. They did not have jobs to go to and they had kids, and they were trapped. There was no way to stand up and get out, and we were trying to help the weak and the disadvantaged, but modern women are not weak and disadvantaged"
Can you believe in 2008 where every network is flooded with armchair and valid psychological theorem, the yokels were calling in- caller after caller, validating the judge's stance and even applauding him? On a personal level-as in I have no judiciary obligation, I can understand having heard enough from your whining ass perpetual victim of a girlfriend, but in a court of law? No way.
I have no cell phone (a practice I swore off in 2004) but I was ready to pull a phone jacking...that is, if anyone happened to pass me speed walking in the desert. One caller said, "she must have really low self esteem". Further victimizing the victim. Weakness and self-esteem has nothing to do with being assaulted. Abusers carefully select those they prey on because they, the abusers are weak and lacking the basic fundamentals of humanity. Why are we punishing the punished? This "jealous" man who is incapable of engaging productive discourse and who must thrust another human to the floor to get his point across is a model of strength, pride and valor? Give me a break.
Abuse, Arizonans and others who are unaware, begins with the scars we can't see. Not so much that the abused has low esteem in the definitive sense. But that, we live in a world that puts so much weight on war and strength and violence and MEN that as women, we often feel defeated before the battle has begun. If you are a woman and were working on your visa in light of perceived election woes, how 'bout you sit your ass down somewhere and come up with a Plan B. Or at least put a B on your chest and prepare for battle. When will this change?
-Peace
10 comments:
Amen. I must say, while reading your post, I was feeling your burn! So, I must have lost some weight just thinking about it. :-)
It is truly incredible that in this enlightened age, people still blame the victim in these cases.
Have a great weekend.
Kate
These attitudes prevail in most countries. My generation should be free of them at some point...
Thanks for passing by: I'm somehow missing the London cultural vibe myself, but I also rejoyce in the Oxford calm!
What I smart Idea walking to ignorance. At least you'll use the energy for good. I use up energy all the time ranting about ignorance, if only I could have thought to work out to it. Can you imagine the Billy Blanks, round house kicks, lol!!!
Wish I was walking with you..but I know you would have left me in the cactus..I would have slowed you down.
My mother lived (appalacian Kentucky) that this for many years and I get sick every time I here these people speak as if everyone is an expert. You do not know what it is like until you live is that fear.
Damn. Now I gotta get rid of all of those visa apps I've been collecting and get all my Bs together!
I definitely feel your burn. Burns my ass every time someone says something stupid where woman and abuse is concerned. From my own experience and the experience of others, I can vouch that the law is definitely NOT set up to protect women and children... change is long over due.
A display of my ignorance here, but I had no idea that Arizona was very conservative. The curse of being a lifelong native of a liberal area =/
Somehow, this doesn't surprise me. The unenlightened thinking patterns of small minded people...sad.
By the way, I love your children receptacle!
Come to Massachusetts...although I think a lot of abuse never get's reported because of fear. Fear of the abuser and fear of actually having to verbalize it to a stranger. Having to recite your pain for forms and then to actually have to stand in court and do it all over again in front of all those people...I've been there as an advocate and it's daunting even as a witness.
It's a shame that anyone would have to go through this at all, but to be humiliated and blamed in the end... it's just too much.
I applaud you for putting this out in the blogisphere, we must all try to find a way to help those who are not able to help themselves. If we don't then we are all victims. Peace, Judi
Wow. You would think in this day and age people - especially judges - would have moved beyond such shortsightedness and not blame victims. I suppose I am wishing for too much.
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