Monday, July 16, 2007

I've been remiss in my blogging, not for lack of events but sheer lack of energy.Today was rather uneventful, I did my bid at the Evil Blue Octagon. Package Man assumed position in the lounge, appears he doesn't speak...I don't know if he has been muted as a result of the bungled man parts or just part of his angry dude schtick, but yeah he doesn't talk, go figure.

My Zumba class was cancelled, they're really trying to drive me out of my gourd at the YMCA. First Yoga Joe injures himself and that class is cancelled and now Zumba..."Hello, I am on a mission to fight the Wretched Suburban with me people!" Truth is, I ate a vat of spaghetti with mushrooms today and was really looking forward to shaking some of it off.I guess that's what I get for being greedy, eh? Had I eaten it yesterday I could have worked it all off,cleaning up behind "Hello Shitty".

Hello Shitty is one of the names our neighbor's kitten earned during a brief stay at our house on Sunday morning. Shortly after Joe broke the garbage disposal.(okay he didn't break it but he rendered it a bit more useless than it already was, if that makes sense laughs) He went out front and heard the kitten yelping by the bushes so he brought her in. It was very hot yesterday, I'm guessing about 110 degrees and the poor little shitty-cat was hot and dehydrated and well, apparently needed some damn Imodium. So he comes in and asks if I'll give the guest some water while he finishes fixing the garbage disposal. (I'm totally teasing Joe is a very talented artist, he's just no Schneider) Anyway, although I'm not really up for company, I figure it is okay since I don't have to talk to it and even better, it won't talk to me. I get shitty-cat a nice bowl of water and while she's drinking I notice that her cute little rhinestone collar is wrapped under her right arm which is probably what slowed her down and got her separated from the rest of her shitty-cat cohorts. Immediately upon seeing the collar, I knew she belonged to those neighbors. Everyone and I do mean everyone has a neighbor that has too many kids, too many roaches or too many pets, you know the type. It's been about 10 minutes now and she's still lapping up water I'm not particularly intrigued so I return to my cave. I should have known that everyone else would grow bored of the Adventures of Shitty-Cat just as I did! A few minutes later I swear I hear some activity in my closet, and wouldn't you know it, the stinking little animal has now mustered up enough energy to go hitch her ass in the corner of my closet and shit! And to boot she doesn't stop as I'm carrying her from my room and screaming, she just keeps right on shitting. Seriously, I don't know what the hell she ate, but it was pretty damn funky for such a cute little guy/girl whatever the little funk box is. Needless, to say I had to shampoo my carpet, not exactly what I had planned, but such is life.

Joe did take Hello Shitty back "home" shortly thereafter, citing that he didn't want me to go "crazy", and in all honesty I probably would have. She/he, it was really very cute, but I had had enough.It was fun and funky while it lasted. I have a new appreciation for Beau as a result of this visit, I gave him a bath and conditioned his hair later that evening. Go get yourself a guinea pig, you'll be glad you did.

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