Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Social Notworking I

I was chomping most ferociously on the above chips and salsa when it occurred to me that I had fairly recently -sometimes I lag on the uptake- been more like mildly miffed- by something recently said and/or implied by TWO different people on Facebook; this makes for good blog fodder. Here, have a chip.

"Foolish Human #1" sends a friend request, and I do my usual: I read their profile, followed by, hmm, let me see if this person's pictures are private or not. It's a good thing when I can satisfy my curiosity without satisfying theirs; my pictures are private. Eh, not too bad, they're married, got a couple of attractive kids, a lot of faithbookery going on on the wall, but otherwise no red flags. Wrong. I accept the request and the first message reads:

GOD is good. Look at your beautiful family. Noone would believe me if I told them how you turned out after the way you were in [insert name of grammar school]. You were always hella smart, but honey you were WILDDDDD. lol. I still remember when you fought [name] and her cousin [name]. Do you remember that? Girl, GOD is TOO GOOD all the time.

Blank stare, hits remove from friends.

"Foolish Human #2" sends a friend request, I repeat steps 1 and 2 and accept because...oh I don't know why. Now, I have certainly reconnected with some wonderful old acquaintances, but the truth is if I haven't looked you up since our third grade school play, chances are, I don't like you. First message:

Hey Tam -already unacceptable- Nice family. I read your profile, "fundamental fortune cookie [-ist]"...somehow I knew you'd turn out like that. LOL, You look good, though. God bless you (anyway). Signed, [insert name].

Raises left brow, (I can't raise my right one, can you alternate?) types up snarky reply, recalls interaction with Foolish Human #1, ugh transference-thinks better of it, deletes unsent snark, removes from friends and retreats to blog.

Um, can the people say, "What the hell?" Faith schmaith, the bible babble is the least of my worries, but do people really define others based on childhood experiences? Reflecting on both of these people along the same vein, I'd expect one of 'em to have served time for chocolate milk and Tater Tots extortion, and the other a member of the "high-waters-wearing-ringworm-having- booger-eater-ati" among many other grammar school faux pas.

It's become amusing now- well of course after typing that last part- but I couldn't help-if just for a moment, feel the familiar sting of social injustice which led me to whoop the two aforementioned girls' asses in the first place. Smugly smiles.

Peace and progress people


mairedodd said...

you are the best - thought-filled, intelligent, witty... you always give me pause to think on something deeply while i feel like i am conversing with you at your kitchen table... awesome... yes, people do judge... facebook gives a whole 'nother dimension to people watching, don't you agree? (i can only raise my right eyebrow it seems, i learned that just now, thank you!) there certainly is a reason why some people are in our past...

Jennifer said...

Whaaaat!?!?!?!?! Why would someone seek you out to dredge up old crap and the god thing...don't get me started. "God bless you anyway"...screw her (that's from me and not the PMS talking). T, I don't get why people need to invade the space of others with their crap. I just don't know. Hi five on the deletion and moving on! grrrrr.

Jennifer said...

Oh and I can't raise either brow so I'm jealous :/

Amy Bradstreet said...

Oh geez, hahahaha! You are good, I know I have probably too many foolish folk still in my friends list (lately it seems to the the almost-but-not-quite-boyfriends who leave me notes like "I'd still tap that", niiiiicee (you snooze you lose, buddy!) But I delude myself into thinking I'm a thought provoking and life-changing influence on them, instead! ;P

I always use "Tameka", but I often see people call you "Meka" and I always hope I haven't erred, especially since we've never met IRL. Still love you.

miznyc said...

bwa ha ha ha! Tam! bwa ha ha ha! God bless you anyway? WTH is that about?!??!

I have to date deleted one person but in my defense I realize I should never have added them in the first place.

*raises right eyebrow to make T and J jealous*

Traci Lavette said...

Yes Ma''s called cleaning house and I absolutely love it! Some of these people just amaze me with some of the foolishness that comes out their mouth and onto my page. No time for it. Oh...did I mention that it includes family too? Yep, been there - done that!

Kathy said...

Ah yes, the old FB issues....I accepted a friend request from someone I knew in high school. Mind you we were not friends. Never did one thing together. She lived in Irv's neighborhood.

Since becoming friends on FB, she has asked me 3 times to get together with her and some of the girls for lunch....because it would be so fun to get together and talk about old times.

HUH? What old times? I don't really even know you!


Urban Adornments said...

ugggh Facebook....had to leave it alone myself! Don't you wish you could just delete "everyone" and start all over from scratch!

3pieceonline said...

I've to date blocked 7 people. I absolutely detest the super "wear my religion on my sleeve especially on facebook" crew. I also detest people who want to remind me how I use to take my mama's car when she was sleep and I was 13, yeah gee thanks block/delete.


Kiandra said...

ugh..."god bless you anyway" don't get me started cause i could go off in so many darn directions. i love fb for the wonderful people like u and my other net girlfriends that i get to have in my space...but there def. needs to be a watchful eye to others.

i can raise the right eyebrow...very, very high...and move both ears...let's leave the left eyebrow out of this.

Emma's Mom said...

LOL. Oh my. I too, have found that Facebook is a very interesting place, and the folks who try to "reconnect" with you are often the most interesting.

"if I haven't looked you up since our third grade school play, chances are, I don't like you"

Yes! Agreed! There are people who request me that I don't even remember. Like, just because we have 20+ friends in common doesn't mean that I remember who you are, lol. The options to ignore requests and delete friends is so empowering.

Dina said...

Um, um, um... I say laughing and shaking my head. THIS is the exact reason I never signed up for faceplace, mybook, twitter, twatter or splatter. There are just some folk I hope will never try to be my friend again. LOL!

Jewelry Rockstar said...

hehehe. Facebook is very funny. I have people that I've asked to be friends only to realize that they have hated me since high school I've been gone from my hometown since 1991. You would think people would grow up bury the hatchet, but nope the immaturity is in place and the hate is still strong. Go figure.

Oh and I can't stand these holy roller, praise the lord types who insult others in the name of Jesus. Really annoying...and I am a Christian.

fly tie said...

he he he! amusing indeed!

you're good.

yeah, many of the whos and whats of facebook have me wide-eyed with one eyebrow or the other raised.

Angela said...

Ugh. You have totally encapsulated my developing loathing for Facebook.

HUzzah! Vintage said...

That's rich. I've had more experiences like this than I care to remember so I've just stopped accepting high school friend requests altogether.

also, my dad friended me recently, which means Facebook will be as dead as Friendster within, oh, two months (give or take).

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