Thursday, August 21, 2008

Oh no the hell you didn't!

Photo courtesy of www.offoffoff.com


Do you ever wonder what the wives of the presidential candidates and their girlfriends talk about? The wives have to have some pretty thick skins and finely tuned bullshit sensors to wade the storm that is politics. They say, "Behind every good man is a great woman". (I don't know about all of that behind business, but I'll allow them this one instance.) I bet they're pretty awesome and as I was telling favorite guy the other day, I'll never be quite that awesome.

I've become undone over music reviews, perceived tone in e-mails, and minor business disputes. Could you just imagine if everywhere you looked, everywhere you turned-every channel, every radio broadcast, podcast, blog, Etc. section of the Etsy fora, someone had something to say about your husband? Some of it good, some of it not so much and most of it pretty damn bad! Yikes! So tell me Michelle, when Barack comes home are you sitting at the dining room table in your mu mu, head scarf, coffee mug in hand, talking to your best girlfriend and sporting a Noxzema covered grimace? And, do you say, "Girl he just came in! Let me go tell him about his damn self and I'll call you tomorrow. Alright girl, bye!" Do you then ask him, "How in the hell did you let all them damn people catch you slippin' at Saddleback?" Followed, by a lengthy sucking of the teeth, a few "mm mm mmms" and a neck roll or two? Do you vow to have "something" for all of the "haterade drinking nay-sayers" once you get in the White House? Note: "Something" can be anything but when used in this context it certainly indicates the imminent threat of a good ol fashioned ass whippin'. I.e. And, this is one of my favorites, "You bring your ass in here one minute past twelve and I got something for you". You follow? Good. Winks. Do you harangue him about how you "Just got through telling your girlfriend (You know the one whom you tell everything, much to your husband's chagrin.) how you had a feeling this shit was going to happen"? Do you then say horribly immature albeit cathartic things about the opponent's wife's chastity, hair, makeup and wardrobe? I mean, I'm just asking because...well, I would!

Unfathomable, the degree of caffeinated beverage consumption required to withstand the squawking of an entire nation as they debate my husband's qualifications, intentions, religious affiliations, ethnicity, integrity, and more. Insanity would surely ensue. Do you remember when Wendy Williams drove Whitney's train off the track?! Tsk tsk, ugly, ugly. So, with that being said if you know what's good for you, you'll keep that woman's husband's name out your mouth! And know you will surely need prayer if you start messing with them children! Laughs...

I'm taking the weekend off-I think...I'll see. There's still time to try the Meganame Generator and enter to win some cool promotional goodies care of Tea & Honey Bread and next dimension music. Mind your manners and shush your mouth.



Peace



13 comments:

Giftbearer said...

ROFLAMAO!

High Desert Diva said...

Yeah...definitely don't have thick enough skin to be a political... anything!

Rosebud Collection said...

I, remember when the press knocked Harry Truman's daughter, Margaret, about her piano playing..Did he go after the press..I was very young, but remembered it well.

Cecile/DreamCreateRepeat said...

Nope, can't imagine being a politician, being married to a politician, or being the (young) child of a politician....

BTW, my friend Noralee (the historian of women and minorities in this country) is betting everyone in town (DC that is, where politics is the local hobby) that this country is not ready to elect a black man president....

I hope she's wrong, but I won't touch the bet. : (

fly tie said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Tsk tsk is right. leave these folks & their men alone!

lmao!

Jennifer said...

I love this! I do wonder what they do when he gets home after a tough day in the media...and what do the guys say when someone takes a shot at their wife? Hmmmm...

Mekhismom said...

Just looking at that picture made me crack up laughing and your commentary too much! Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

Em K DUB said...

First of all I friggin' love Tyler Perry! Diary of a Mad Black Woman is one of my most favorite movies, and yeah politics are rough, well just being in the spotlight in general is rough! You can't do anything without someone judging you.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

not teeth sucking lol

shiborigirl said...

I could hear the tooth-suck in my head as I read this! Too funny. And I can't imagine setting myself up for the political nightmare these folks have to endure.

Thanks for the giggles.

Kate

Victim of Craft-Induced ADD said...

Ahahahaha! I laughed so hard at your very vivid image of Michelle on the phone in Noxema talking to her girl. Did you see her speech last night? She was just beyond amazing. She's a force to be reckoned with, that one. Whatever people think about Barack (I happen to think he's the next President, and rightly so), there's no denying the greatness of Michelle. If you didn't catch the speech and would like to, I'll give you a url for it! Not about politics, just about her life growing up, her life with Barack, and her life as a mother. Very moving stuff.

Jewelry Rockstar said...

OMG! You are funny and a great great writer!!! Absolutely love it!

Cathe Holden said...

Wow, what a perspective. How can anyone have anything close to a normal relationship under those circumstances?

Great post!

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