Sunday, June 8, 2008

Progress notes...

Perhaps it is the anonymity of the internet, or perhaps I've grown and made some amazing breakthroughs. Whatever it is, I'm finding more and more that I'm coming into my own and out of my shell. I'm still the same me who rants about living a life of my own design but, what I'm seeing is the design taking on new heights, depths and proportion. It can at times be too much to stand. I look around the house some days and while I'm exhausted, for all outward appearances I've done little to nothing.

Favorite guy came in tonight with his partial scowl face on. And well, yeah the house is not weekend ready but amidst his absence, I have drawn and posted my very first watercolor pencils experiment, designed two pairs of earrings, answered customer e-mails and masterminded what I believe will be another one of my best selling designs. Or at least one of my favorite designs. This is a great deal of progress from last year's, "Will anyone like my stuff, my blog, can we afford this change." The year (and about 7 years before that year) before it was, "If I muster up the energy to break free from this dark storm cloud of depression I promise not to use my powers to dragoon my boss, some of my subordinates and most of my co-workers". And, look at where I am now.

I feel like Puberty Man, (whose name is Jordan, by the way) he spends hours upon hours sleeping. Not just resting but, deep first trimester like slumber and each day when he emerges from his cave, he has grown. Be it facial hair, height, weight, muscles, pimples-there is noticeable change daily. I on the other hand, aside of 20 F-bomb worthy pounds am making all of my strides between the ears. All of this growth is at once exhilarating and exasperating and even a bit dimply!

Oh, I'm putting all of this out there because I sometimes wonder like many others if blogging and creating, collecting and chronicling all of my very random musings is all just spinning wheels. And then it hits me, there is a very strong possibility if I spin fast enough, hard enough and believe just enough I'll break loose the cogs and actually take off. You know? And hell, if I don't, I can scratch losing those 20 fucking pounds off my "To do:" list. Winks.

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt".~Sylvia Plath



6 comments:

Robin said...

Your writings always make me smile...
Just had to let you know!

BeadedTail said...

I absolutely enjoy reading your blog. You are so insightful and express yourself so incredibly well that I find out a little more about me while reading a little more about you.

High Desert Diva said...

Excellent quote to finish off that post!

Rosebud Collection said...

Interesting blog..I wish I only had 20 lbs to worry about..darn..

Fireluster Pottery: said...

You are such a talented and articulate writer. I'm glad I found your blog. The part about Puberty Man cracks me up because I'm dealing with the same thing right now.
thanks

LazyTcrochet said...

Ah yes, the puberty man sounds familiar. Great read!

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