Saturday, June 14, 2008

Friends, Fathers, Flowers and Love

I'll undoubtedly be away from the PC for Father's Day observance, but I felt a moral obligation to put this piece of Honey Bread out there for consumption and hopefully digestion. For those of you who are new to my musings Honey Bread is a sweet morsel for your mind, body and/or spirit. This one feeds the three.

At 35 I have spent more years, cumulative time, being a wife than a daughter, having a husband than a father. I've spent more years raising my own children and siblings than being raised. I've shown and perhaps given much more nurturing, parental love, encouragement and support than I've received. I feel at once blessed and cursed to be able to pass this along. It is intended for women; mothers, wives and lovers all whose shoes, hats and baggage I've worn well and carried.

Men, fathers, husbands, lovers like children, flowers, bank accounts and pets, grow by investment and are capable of giving back only that which has been initially given. There's a great deal of discourse around this time of year about who is and is not deserving of Father's Day folly. There's a lot of trifle and tallying going on about just how deserving are those who are in earnest. There are 364 days outside of Father's Day to lend nurturing, love, encouragement and support to those we hold responsible for the success of our children, flowers, bank accounts and pets. When you chose your mate, you chose first your friend and then your partner and ultimately a co-pilot, a father. As a society, we tend to forget that loving is also choice.

Almost daily, I hear women go on about the choice to bring children into the world and not love them yet,we bring partners, husbands, lovers, friends into our lives and sometimes neglect them. Have you spent as much time being a friend to your partner as you have being a partner to your friend? Have you spent as much time supporting them as was needed? Have you invested as much as you've expected in return? Have you thanked them for the wonderful gift of life they've given you?

I'm an independent feminist type, fully capable of doing most a man can do, but not without the support of my main man. Go wish someone a Happy Father's, Friend's, Lover's, Partner's Day and make an investment in the beauty of both your futures. Peace.

Oh, and for the love of Bob do not come up with another PC term for the person you spend your life with or I'll never be able to include them all.

7 comments:

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

great tribute, im a single parent and thanks for the fathers day wishes

Nice spot u have here, hope u don’t mind the drive by, do chk me out one day

rawdawgbuffalo and if u like what u read, maybe u will come back, even Blog Roll Me


my folk did a review and interview on me so chk it

High Desert Diva said...

This is one of my favorite posts yet.
A very good reminder of what's important.

Kendra said...

Tameka,
I am new to blogging and this subject is difficult for me. I appreciate your thoughts and your writing is so beautiful. Thank you.
I called my friend yesterday to wish him a happy father' day because I watch him with his child and it fills me with joy. However, I am estranged from my father for going on 10 years and I do not have children. My husband, like me, did not have a good experience with fatherhood as his dad left him & his mother when he was 5. We, in a sense, father each other now by keeping each other safe and providing for each others' needs, both physically and emotionally. Like you said, loving is a choice, and is something you have to choose constantly, keep it in the present moment. Love is NOW.

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Kendra,
Thanks so much for reading my musings and sharing your words with me. It gives me great pleasure when my writing provides a moment of connection, and/or reflection. I hope you and your husband forever continue to willfully nurture one another.

Kendra said...

You are so welcome. I am so glad I met you!
My best wishes to you & yours, as well.

FireChickick said...

I adore you! Thank you so much for this thought provoking tribute to all fathers, AND mothers.

You and I have so many parallels in our lives, it's amazing sometimes.

(( hugs to you, my friend ))

jkziel said...

Men, fathers, husbands, lovers like children, flowers, bank accounts and pets, grow by investment and are capable of giving back only that which has been initially given

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I very much like this line.

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