Oh boy! The feeling is starting to take over...it is almost Christmas! Yikes! We went to Target this morning and picked up a few items for the children. I've pretty much completed my shopping. I took the pledge, so everything that I'm gifting this year is made by hand; mine or another amazing artist. I've gone a completely different direction with decorating this year too. Theme: A Cozy Country Christmas. Red is the color and our tree will be strewn in popcorn and cranberries. All presents will be wrapped in post consumer recycled kraft paper and red raffia ties. I'm looking forward to pulling this off, it's a first. I have a theme every year, but this country deal is new. I don't think the kids care about the aesthetics as long as whatever is in the boxes isn't too country!

I go through phases, lately I've been missing my Gullah ties a lot. I was shopping on Etsy the other night and came across a seller not far from my grandparents' house. It really felt good to buy from her another Carolinian. I love the feel and the tradition associated with country life, it's slow and savory like the meals, but everything else is just the antithesis of Tameka, the person. I think that is why I like my little oasis so much, it's part old-fashioned traditional, yet free-thinking, liberal and progressive-if that is at all possible. Well that is the thought process behind our Cozy Country Christmas.

It looks like this years' Festivus will be cancelled or at least postponed until well after the holidays. We are likely taking a trip up North in search of some snow. Yeah! That'll be cool, perhaps I'm missing that too-I ordered a scarf the other day! Joe looked at me quizzically when I showed him, he asked where I might wear a scarf in AZ (nevermind how seldom I actually go further than the mailbox) eh, whatever-it is a really really nice scarf. If you are looking for a scarf that says "I am here." Check out http://ezrascousin.etsy.com. Not only does she take an age old craft to an all new level, but her style is classy and regal. I have explored a lot of different fashions, but knit, crochet, classy and regal do not usually meld. Check this shop out, she does it and she does it well.

Business has been slow the past few days, I'm guessing much like myself folks are out and about doing their shopping. Or, the economy has truly put a dent in the holiday gift giving. Well, Yael is not getting a horse, but that has little to do with the national debt! I hope things pick up for me there are a few extras I'd like to get for the husband. It's been a banner year for us and he really is deserving of some extra niceties.

Well, I'm off to bed.

I've got one of those dull headaches that exist for no reason other than to annoy. I'm not going to let it defeat me though, for I've got Alka Seltzer and English muffins. Well, no there is no scientific proof that English Muffins cure headaches, but they're tasty and tasty alleviates some of the annoyance of having the headache in the first place.

Kathie has prescribed another anti-depressant, which is probably why I have a headache. I can't help but feel like the period of misery that precludes the jumpstart of antidepressants is some perverse medical version of, "I'll give you something to cry for." Why do people say that? Pauses in deep though which is soon interrupted by a whining child. Ugh, Yael wants to go back to Madison's house.

As an introvert, I find my extremely outgoing, social children to be quite disturbing...interesting and endearing-but thoroughly confusing. My daughter has had 2 sleepovers in 2 days. In addition, she has played with this person and others between the 2 sleepovers. Yet, she is not tired. I love my committee dearly, but after a good day, I must (for the love of all things sacred) have 2 face free, quiet, solitudinous good days to recharge. Jordan is a little more reserved than Yael-I've noticed him retreating mentally when one particularly loquacious friend is here too long. He can be very Joe-like in social settings. He'll sit seemingly interested in the random rantings of his peers. Where I would be on the verge of tears or worse just rise and retreat to my room. (Two of my girlfriends still talk about a time I got up during a night of drinking and gabbing and left them sitting in my living room-they later found my clothing atop the hamper and my bedroom door closed. The husband let them out.) Laughs.

We have an outing planned for tomorrow...it's more pleasurable business than pleasure for pleasure's sake. But, there will be people...I'm guessing enough of them that Joe and I will not have to really engage any particular grouping. We can skirt the place and remain incognito. Laughs. We should bode well, I've spent the day alone in the dark, cleaned the litter box, watched a French Film cuddled with the kitties, took a shower, took my headscarf off for about 5 minutes which was about how long it took me to decide against combing my hair-although, I really should be doing that everyday.

I must snap out of this Goodyear Couture slump. I've gone from Fashionista to Domestic Dreg. I tried making mental contracts with myself but they always fall through. And, it isn't that I'm even upset about the way I look...I'm just so focused on doing that I am not really making room for being. Truth is, I'm more bothered by the perception that I am unhappy or otherwise dissatisfied. Who in their right mind prefers heels to flip flops and jeans to jazz pants with a hole in the crotch?! I mean really. Joe reminds me that I'm "pretty all the time". Smiles, I love that guy. And, oddly enough, I'm just one of those depressed folks that is serotonin/nor-epinephrine challenged. I like myself, I think I'm smart and pretty and I love my life-when I am not plagued with fatigue, mood swings and irrational feelings of hopelessness, worry and impending doom.

No Pretty in Peace today. I made some stuff, but it's too overcast to take pics. Plus, the weekends are super slow for me. Even the fora is uninteresting today. Just as well, since I've not been particularly dulcet in demeanor of late. I got a stern admonishment from one of the Auxiliary Fora Police for "calling out"-which I didn't. And, some self-righteous idiot called me "closed-minded". (Yes, as in past-tense. Right, uh-huh...like my mind was previously closed and now is slightly ajar). She totally misread something I wrote and of course personalised it. I wish therapists solicited clients like parishioner's. And, referral discounts or better yet, cash bonuses every time a prescription is filled. I'd be loaded. There are a bunch of fruit cakes with extra nuts in the Etsy fora and honestly, they were there even before the Gift Guides. Laughs. I made the guide, peers over each shoulder covertly and whispers "Twice-but don't tell anyone okay? Pinkie promise?Okay, good".

Takes headache break...Well, at least that was the plan-no such luck as grooming maladroit, teenage son needs 2 cornrows...and then of course I have to wash all 18 inches of ethnic evil that is Yael's hair in between bellowing at "Rogue kitten" who is attacking ghosts on top of the dining room table! Big, "No no". I'm all about singing, dancing, kissing and loving the fur kids-but the table deal is not the way to go. So now, I sit eating the ever nutritious giant bowl of corn and leftover vegetable herb stuffing head-ache free but not at all rested. Oh, and did I mention the brief oral surgery performed on a rotting cracked pre-molar? Well that too. She's now writing a letter to the Tooth Fairy. I have her convinced that the Tooth Fairy does not pay for damaged teeth. You do recall the meltdown that ensued after the last tooth was misplaced? She's obviously concerned about the impending appraisal. I think if we really low-ball her, she'll consider revising her current Jeff-Goldblum-as-The Fly-esque eating habits. Nothing else seems to work. She just asked me if she could have a piece of candy-it hasn't been an hour since the tooth was pulled. I think she's crazy. Look at that another one. I'm telling you, recruiting Louie's seems like a lucrative career choice; Tameka, Headcase Hunter LLC. It has a nice ring to it.

Note:

Louie-noun; shortened version of "Screwy Louie".

Hi My name is Tameka and I...am an inconsistent blogger. Are you happy now? I said it! I wish I knew what I've been so busy doing that I've so severely neglected this blog. Do forgive me as I have forgiven myself. Winks. Yes, I am not going to beat myself up about it...carry on, shall we?

Let's see, we've covered the kittens, yes? Beau has a calm resolve about the whole situation with the new fur kids. Make no mistake, he is not completely thrilled, but he has found a place of acceptance about them living here too. And, because he has been so admirable I've been giving him some extra out of cage time. There was a hint of tension between Beau and Biju initially...she is cause for concern. I may need to call the Cat Whisperer for her; a bit rough around the edges, she is. We all have someone like that in our lives, they add color to life and occasionally a cheek or two. She as issues with respecting personal space, I guess to anthropomorphise I'd say she is the extroverted type, the TMI person at the gathering, she arrives unannounced and not quite put together. That's our Biju! She farts alot, she's a bit unkempt...but you gotta love her. Anju, on the other hand is a "Cream Puff". He can be a bit of a whiner, but that melds well with all of the Cancerian Cry-babies that are already here. I vacillate on pushing him to toughen up a bit because I totally respect his introversion and general indifference. I'd totally drink coffee and watch an indie film with the anthromorphous Anju! So, as you can tell I am totally smitten with my turning-out-to-be-quite-a-handful-of-patience-and-money kittens.

I think I'm going to break down and get on my Flickr game already! Photos bring so much life to blogging. I'm perfectly sated to read on and on about the trials and triumphs along another writer's path, but for the folks that never quite got over the cancellation of Reading Rainbow, pictures bring a whole other life to blogging. Now, I said I will have to get my Flickr on, but what that means in the grand scheme of things is that Joe will set it up and give me the dimmed down version of how to use it. Not that I cannot read, I don't know if I have developed some elitist aversion but I am graphic/visual aids challenged. Establishing Beau's very bare MySpace profile was a feat, complete with flared, sweaty nostrils and quite a bit of anger. (Yikes! Paris Bennett's song just came on Pandora-nails on a chalkboard I tell ya'). The Etsy community is so, well communal and while togetherness really isn't my thing I do find the kind of intimacy that builds as a result of just letting a little of your sunshine (and rain) in, is good for business and for your overall e-growth. I tried rather unsuccessfully...(shamefully unsuccessful) to partake in Self Portrait Thursdays. I think, I made it like 2 or 3 times. I've concluded that Thursdays aren't my pretty day, I am definitely a Mondays' Hottie. Winks. I know that playing well in the sandbox-unless it is my sandbox, filled with formally invited guests only and decorated with imported quality white sand, is just not one of my many strengths. So without completely ruining the Etsy tradition I will try to take a self portrait randomly during the week and in the spirit of community, co-mingling and cooperation will upload it to my Flickr account on Thursday's. I think that is fair, yes?

Pretty in Peace NEWS! Well, I reached a high of 75 listed items...I'm back down to 74. I have supplies orders coming in the mail...er I mean "bill box" everyday. My personal goal is to have 100 items completed and listed for sale by the first of December. Male voice over asks,"Will she do it?" This, remains to be seen. Business and creativity are not really friends...as are creativity and broke, but y'know. I try to balance the need to stay true to my brand and myself by only putting out quality items and not mass producing designs a la strip malls and mainstream B&Ms-and with that comes the design block dilemma. Sometimes, I feel analytical, some days creative and crafty. Other times, I just wanna sit down and write a letter to a friend. Being in the comforts of home is bittersweet. My home is so cozy (Really, it is. Hues of blues and browns, it's like being on a temperature controlled, insects-free oasis with electricity and basic satellite TV)everything is so "me". I often find it challenging to get in business mode. The wholesale orders were a fiscal frilly, but it felt like work. By the time all of the settings were cast and it was time to package and ship, I had already spent my profits laughs and it just wasn't so much fun anymore. I think I mentioned that I'm not a real good "do-er". (I also hate the word good) Well, I don't think I'll accept anymore than an additional one or two wholesale orders because I don't want to commit my stock to the beautification of someone else's shop during the peak of consumerism that is Christmas.

Our Thanksgiving was quaint and casual just the way we like it. Everything was prepared on time, the presentation was lovely, we all banded together to pull it off and we did. Yael engaged in a bit of holiday mutiny that was quickly brought to a sortie by "Corporal Dad" and his army green canvas belt. Chuckles. Jordan was cooperative, we're pleased, he's finally learned. I really can't ask for more. We had some random family banter, made our individual proclamations of gratitude, a few jokes. Joe slipped in some ever appropriate teen sex humor and away we went with full hearts and guts. Yael announced that she would like a Wii for Christmas or...a horse. How unfortunate, Santa, I fear, heard-dolls, books and cool handmade goods from Etsy! (Subtle plug) All of my Etsy money has gone back into other Etsy artists' shops and supplies. I am giving handmade this year and it feels great! I've been able to really tap into the place in all of my special people that I want to spotlight without the pressures of following a trend or a list. I believe they will be quite pleased. Even Jordan-who is at the peak of label lust.I'd eat raw rancid meat before I'd give up what I know now to be 16 again...blecccch.

As I was dabbing on the Sulfur 8-(Gotta love the arid AZ air vs. Black girl hair) I spotted a shiny platinum strand of "good sense" within the first centimeter of hairs framing the right side of my face, I smiled. With the exception of my ass drooping, I welcome all of the wonders of aging. I'm healthy, loving, loved and pretty good looking on Mondays'!

So, I think I have noted any and everything particularly noteworthy over the past 3 weeks. I'll get on that Flickr thingamabob for those short on syntax and it's a go. Removes rogue kitten from sofa and sighs.

Ack! I still haven't posted pics from Halloween or the kitties. Soon come, soon come. Today is the eve of the anniversary of the birth of my first child. I could totally have just said it is Jordan's birthday eve, but this is my blog...he should start his own if he wants to talk about his part in the day. Yes? Well, (not to sound like Mary J. always harpin' on her man) but my absolutement favorit homme bought a 12 pack of Hefeweizen, just to ease the ceremonious labor aches and pains. He is the one, I tell ya. I love love love that he acknowledges my ever important role in birthing babies...that Joe is a good egg! Hugs to the husband.

So sixteen it is, I will, in about 13 hours and 20 minutes have a 16 year old man-child. Yikes! I just trimmed his lovely shoulder length locks and aided and abetted the foolishness that is a moustache into some semblance of fashionable form. I never quite understood the need for a moustache, I guess it is tantamount to breasts for girls...I never understood or inherited any of those either! Laughs. I often to refer to this phase of my life as the perils of puberty although in my heart of hearts it is the pleasure, the passion, and the perpetual wisdom that accompanies parenting.I couldn't ask for more...really, even on the bad past-curfew-lied-about-your-whereabouts-gotta-pick-your-silly-ass-up-from-the-sheriff's-containment-center days! I still think I'm too young for most of this shit though, really, I still like the red candies and am not above any fortune telling devices, toys, articles...my husband makes me giggle madly and so does the sight of someone busting their ass! Laughs.

So let me tell you more about my kittens from here on out, they will be referred to as my, "fur-kids" or their names Anju my 2 mos old sweet boy and Biju my 1 mo old good girl...yes they are my, "sweet and good" ones. Not that Beau is not in good standing anymore, but Beau is moody and stand-offish like the humans that live here. I must admit I was kinda love-starved! Okay, okay, so Anju in a nutshell is a scaredy-cat; he lurks under the bed peeking out from under the dust ruffle. You totally know he wants to come out and run amok, but he's still feeling us out. Biju on the other hand is all about it! Now, she is a well travelled kitten, she's been in Jordan's quarters much akin to the French Quarters post Katrina, she's been behind the refrigerator...she returned dusty yet unscathed, she's been in my craft pile, she's been on the yoga mat...she has clawed my 50% off faux ficus from Michael's (had to squirt her that time) and she has been to Beau's-uninvited of course. Bothered her none, she simply scaled the side of his domicile and perched herself atop his roof, fuzzy little paws dangling in. Beau remained secluded and annoyed until she fell asleep up there. They are the source of much pleasure around here all across the board even the resident rapper has been caught being er..um...sensitive! "We loves the fur kids!"

Pretty in Peace! Pretty in Peace is in Relate magazine this month! Relate magazine is intended for teens, but since modern day teens are so flippin' advanced, (for lack of a better word) it is drawing more of the 'tween audience...which includes your 8-13 year olds, I believe. You know Hannah Montana, clear lip gloss and nail polish kiddos! Well, one of my rings made their Closet Craves section!Here is the link:

http://www.relatemag.com/magazine.aspx?nav=design&Page=Closet%20Craves

Isn't that just the most fantabulastic news? I'm so way way way excited. I just finished some NEW! designs, 2 wholesale orders and signed my first consignment contract with Nectar Boutique in SLC, Utah (that's cool-speak for Salt Lake City)! Again, I have to say we are bound only by the confines of our own minds. Not that every journey you set out on will be a documented historical success, but you will have ventured-and that, within itself is a success. Don't even get me started on American history and folks that are credited with discovering shit that was already inhabited and in use-but as a black woman it would be long before I was given credit for my own accomplishments let alone any additional accreditation. Not a dig at the "man", just a firmly planted foot and another contingency plan. Forward, I go.

We are starting to get ready for the end of the year stretch here in "Market's-town". I just selected the e-vite template for this year's "Festivus Soul-stice". I really look forward to that one day a year when everyone gets together for a night of carefully orchestrated chaos. It will be December 15th this year...I'm hoping my committee can pull it off. There is nothing like the charge I get from a few days of good food and friendship, it's the perfect end and a positive prospectus for the beginning of our years together. (Plus, they gotta see the NEW! fur-kids!)

Life has been a bit complex lately. I'm happy but I'm not, it's a sort of odd ambivalence about everything these days. I keep telling myself that doing the right thing is always the longest most taxing route, and yet there's this entitled little voice in my ear lamenting about a "break". In fact it says, "What the hell already, damn it?!" Some days I don't have the energy for the depth of introspection required to raise myself up and above cultural and societal standards. My non-conformance armor has a few vulnerable rusted areas, and I admit sometimes I'd just like to be a bit lavish and careless. Only to be followed by guilt, so you can't win, I suppose. We're just at the eight of hard times in our lives right now (not to be confused with bad times) just a lot of transitioning going on simultaneously in every facet of our existence, family, finance, friendships. I know we're headed somewhere greater with all of the due diligence we've put in, but it does nothing to assuage the growing pains of here and now. Some evenings, some days period. i gaze over at Joe and wonder where he gets all of this energy and strength from. Not that I doubted him, because I do not invest in people I don't believe in, but he has surpassed any of the unspoken expectations that I had for our family. He has just really taken the bull by the horns and set up a life for all of us that puts us in position to maximize our potential. At every turn, for-as a mother, and allowing me the opportunity to build string character in my children and for them giving them the safety net at home preparing them for the uncertainties of adulthood. There really is so much in which I can be grateful. I needed to do just what I did when I started feeling shitty. I prepared and Alka-Seltzer, sat in lotus pose with a straight back took a deep breath and let it all out, right here. So, I guess I did have the energy to devote to some introspection, eh? I feel better now.

I think I'll go play with Anju and Biju...they're too cute. i already started looking for Christmas present for them, they're going to be so excited!

November 1st...Welcome Anju & Biju

Day one of discipline...I dragged poor stye-eyed hubby to the dregs of Phoenix to adopt, not one, but two very necessary kittens. I have been itching for a little more fur-covered companionship than Monsieur Beau can offer for a while now, and with Joe being gone so many hours and the kids' having their own very busy social calendars, I admit I was feeling a bit love-starved. On both the giving and receiving ends. So now I have kittens, two beautiful little sweeties! Anju is the boy, he is a Grey Tabby and Biju, the girl is a mixed breed, definitely Russian Blue, with white paws. I'll get pictures up as soon as they are familiar with their NEW! forever home. It's been a busy day for the little ones and they're still getting acclimated.

So, how is that disciplined? I don't know, but in a roundabout way some structure has come out of it. I will have to set up my studio space outside of the living room/dining room/bedroom/ laundry room that it is now currently sprawled throughout. Kittens are like toddlers, they will play with, eat, and destroy anything within reach. So, that is one good thing! Organization. I was also so excited about the new arrivals that I ate one, instead of my usual two slices of Brother's (so good, mmmm) pizza-there ya go, some moderation...good for the thighs. I did not exercise, but I will get in some exercise today while I put my studio together! I must admit, I was even getting a bit nuts with all of the scatter. Creative minds are messy...very messy.

It is 3:45 and I really do need to get to sleep so that I can fulfill all of my organizational duties, so off I go. Oh oh oh! Halloween pictures...I'll get those up today sometime. "Yael Granger" looked beautiful in her Gryffindor duds and my sarcastic pumpkin was a hit too. I just grabbed the Sharpie and drew a face, it was quite the accurate portrait of my mood at the time. I was not having an "up" day and if I could put it to art (which I suppose I did) it would (and did) look a lot like this year's pumpkin! I stayed in this year and gave out candy, Joe did the honors-it turned out well. The last round of kiddies came through at about 8:30ish, we had some pieces left over and a few tchatchtkes; snakes, spiders, bats...overall a good turnout. I hope I feel better about the upcoming holidays-it is not at all like me to sit one out. We'll see...