You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
~Johnny Mercer 1945
I've been thinking (Oh no, not thinking again.) you know how we wash our hands frequently and cover our noses and mouths to prevent the spread of germs? What do you do to protect your mental health, how do you guard your self ? Do you take any special precautions against negative energies and/or parasitic people?
I'm almost embarrassed to say that I don't. As sensitive as I am and as important as these sensitivities are to me, I somehow manage to become host to some seriously negative bugs. Perhaps, it's because I'm a listener by nature, or because I'm nurturing and empathetic or maybe I just need to learn when to say, "cover your mouth."
What, if anything has worked for you? How do you keep the bad stuff out without trapping the good stuff in?
I'm almost embarrassed to say that I don't. As sensitive as I am and as important as these sensitivities are to me, I somehow manage to become host to some seriously negative bugs. Perhaps, it's because I'm a listener by nature, or because I'm nurturing and empathetic or maybe I just need to learn when to say, "cover your mouth."
What, if anything has worked for you? How do you keep the bad stuff out without trapping the good stuff in?
Peace and Positivity
13 comments:
Good question... let me know when you find a workable answer. I always find myself caught up in "other people's problems", of which I try to be a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear and an avid advice giver AND then the person still ends up doing their own thing anyway. At the end of the ordeal I am zapped of my energy and contentment and they are still stuck in a circular motion!
I think we should pick our battles. Like, allow ourselves to only be drawn in soo far with certain people. Not an easy thing to do when you really care about certain people, but in order to protect ourselves mentally we really do have to pick and choose when we can be mentally available to these people/situations/battles/etc and monitor just how far we allow ourselves to get sucked into their worlds... especially if we already know what the outcome will be.
There is a book entitled " Boundaries" that changed my life many years ago. I need to read it again. I am an overly compassionate person with a tendency to have weak boundaries and I swear, the book was written for me. Hey, got MoJo back yat ?
I wish that I had an answer to your questions. I suppose recognizing that something is going on is the first preventative step and dealing with it immediately. Letting it fester just makes things worse. And setting boundaries that works pretty well too, even if that means leaving folks alone completely.
Avoidance. Not sure that's the best solution, but it usually works for me.
Eliminate the parasitic people from your life. Very freeing.
I hope you find a solution that works for you...blogland needs you at optimum sparkle!
Oh my goodness! How I have wrestled with the same problem. In recent years I have begun taking the advice in the song you posted there. I too am a sensitive person who attracts people who suck the life out of me. I've tried to "work with" the situations for years...without success. So I've moved on to "Eliminate the negative"...no more messing around with Mister in between for me. It sounds cruel and not easy to do...but it's the only way I've found. I guess sometimes you just have to turn your back and walk away to avoid being sneezed all over?!
Oh...I just read the other comments. I read a couple of books on boundaries as well. I read them mid-excising of parasites and felt much less guilty about doing it. Good advice Libby Buttons!
P.S. Another good book/s "Toxic Parents' and "Toxic People".
I use affirmations. It weeds out bad energy when I don't have the will to do it myself. If I want ugly energy to go away I write, "I have great women in my life." Sure enough the bad ones went and great ones, like you came. Write affirmations like you already have what you want in your life.
ex: I have friends who celebrate goodness and positivity.
My sister and I have been trying to figure this one out for a while now. We both came to the conclusion that we need to weed the "life suckers" right out of our lives. The hard thing is that we are related to a couple of these people. So I guess she and I vent to one another, in other instances with other people, I just walk away........and hope and pray they don't follow me.
Ohhh, I'm good at getting sucked into other people's dramas. Though I kinda got cured of that a couple of years ago when some friends went through a really ugly divorce. That was bad. I like to think I've got better boundaries now. Now when my mother does it - that's another story. I swear she thinks bitching is a sport. I've tried everything, from addressing it directly ("How about we talk about something positive now?") to more indirectly trying to steer the conversation away from negativity. Nothing works. This woman is queen of the glass half full. Now I just go somewhere happy in my mind and nod in agreement every five minutes. Some battles are just not worth fighting...
Negativity is necessary. How else can we beget positivity after? Many thanks for such an insightful post.
Greetings from London.
I kind of walk around with my fingers in my ears going 'LA LA LA', If I look to closely I get all embroiled in other peoles problems, I try to be a good listener but also try to not get sad at everyone's problem, I really should try to address this and be better at it.
I wish I knew. There are a few people I'd like to put on permanent mute.
like diva, avoidance is the only ting i've been able to come up with so far. (and considering that i'm a loner and a bit of a recluse, this isn't so hard!)
i can say that over the last year or so i've somehow turned into someone who's less affected by people's negative energies than i used to be. it still gets to me at times, though, and it's mostly because it saddens me to see them being that way.
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