Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Always a Bridesmaid

It seems I've been the veritable bridesmaid of the blogosphere; e-sauntering about, placing encouraging little tidbits and asides upon the feet of my favorite bloggers all the while producing nothing of my own. And, here is where I'm supposed to say- tearing off my taffeta gown and uncomfortable (I considered DIY amputation) Dyeables shoes, "Well no longer, I'm gonna..." Not so fast, I'm not gonna do a damn thing about it because I've got a heaping helping of shit to do. Shit that I should have done already, but sorely misguided, I slapped a big ol' "S" on my chest-y'know, being the Super-Shit-Doer-in-a-Crunch heroine that I am. Well, was-because now all this shit-doing does is make me irritable and ornery and foul-mouthed. Okay... and, dishonest, truth is I like to cuss. Cussing is like verbal pepper; an acquired and unnecessary spice for some and the missing ingredient for others. I digress.

So, I've been doing lots of shtuff (happy medium):

Designing jewelry for my Etsy shop and consignment; love is in the air with Valentine's Day just around the corner. I'm also teaching biology, more specifically I am teaching orgasms and simulust. This is 9 year old-ese for organisms and stimulus, but the former is pretty funny. Isn't it? Ponders all sorts of dirty jokes around those two words. The Favorite Guy and I have given up our former lives of leisure (read: laziness) and returned to the gym. Guess whose mat was closest to the farting yogi? I had to break my zen for a moment of road kill thoughts to keep me from bursting into childlike hysterics. Yes, flatulence is funny. "Whatevs Grandma, I'm mature in other ways, it all balances out". And lastly, I've been missing all of you-so I'll be back soon with pictures of all of the shit I've been doing. I'm documenting it for proof of martyrdom...er, I mean blog fodder. Winks.
Peace

15 comments:

High Desert Diva said...

Great read this morning. Love the Yaelisms....

Lisa B. said...

"Farting yogi"...lol!

Lisa Gifford Mueller said...

As always, thanks for the wisdom and laughs...Perfection!

Ms. Bar B: said...

Now why you have to bring it to the orgasms? LOL. You know I'm single and these kinds of words are just not safe around single people, hehehe.

Hope you are about to get as much "shtuff" done as you can =)

Cecile/DreamCreateRepeat said...

Good luck with biology and Yaelisms...out of the mouths of babes! Its the thing I miss most about teaching and tutoring....

Weith Kick said...

Oooo, I like your use of the phrase "verbal pepper." I'll have to remember that the next time I let loose a few choice words for those in my immediate vicinity.

I don't know nothing about farting yoga, but I have a few stories I could tell you about farting pilates.

Paper Girl Productions said...

what a great read!! lol

fly tie said...

funny.

i like the phrase "verbal pepper" too, and while it doesn't come through on my blog, i'm known to do a bit of sprinkling as well.

i think i prefer orgasm to organism...

casserole said...

Nothin' like "shtuff" to get in the way of what you really want to be doing.

Flatulence is ALWAYS funny.

Amanda (Blake) Fall said...

Hilarious post! I can't wait to read more. I was unschooled K-12, so my family can relate. At least now that I'm a college graduate people have stopped asking if I know what "8 X 6" is, once they hear I was taught at home...(and thank God for that, since I always did have trouble with the eights.)

Thanks for the follow!

-Amanda/PesistentGreen

Cathe Holden said...

With your impressive vocabulary reaching both ends of the spectrum, you never cease to impress me. When are you going to just write a book so I can take you with me? I'll be waiting.

Thanks for your super nice comment over at Amy's Living Locurto blog. I can sure count on you to make me look good.

A Cuban In London said...

Yogic flatulence is to be recommended, it eliminates toxins. That's what I say to myself, anyway.

Thanks for such a lovely and fun post.

Greetings from London.

shiborigirl said...

Oh, I DO LOVE reading about all the Shit you're up to! I love to cuss too - my mother taught me to swear like a longshoreman. Whenever someone would tell her it was unladilike, she'd say "No one has EVER accused me of being a lady!" I try not to cuss on my own blog because I don't want to turn anybody off - and it's a real strain! So I come here and read yours. :-)

Good luck with all you have planned.

Bring a mask to the gym next time!

Kate

365 Letters said...

Funny. I love your honesty!

Bookie Nook said...

Yeah I like to cuss too, I went to a home school support meeting yesterday and yelled out "What the Fuck" when we were at the lunch. I was at the adult table, but I think the kids may have heard me. Oops! My kids know about my foul mouth, but the other kids. oh well, WTF????

Get some shit done for me too! Okay, I think I've cursed enough, now. LOL!

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