The period just before I rise and just before I sleep are the pillars of my worldly existence...seriously-all of me that is pure and true, natural and nuts is free during this limited frame of time. I'm sitting here in Joe's tee, Jordan's old shorts and my own impending ash and I am here to deliver the gospel for 2008. That's right, just what I said, "The gospel for 2008". I'm sure my committee members have propped up off their glutes and reached for their respective vices as they lay in wait of this diatribe. The gospel came to me in bits and pieces during the midst of a revelation at 4:17 this morning. Winks.



Disclaimer: This is not a religious doctrine you are about to read and is not intended to offend anyone. Further, if you are offended please feel free to peruse any number of the other blogs Blogger has to offer instead of e-mailing me your thoughts as honestly, I don't care to hear them-this is my blog, my small part of the 'interwebs' to use as I see fit and funny. Thanks.



So this morning, my kitten Anju comes to my side of the bed and utters something in Cat as he does most mornings. Kittens are essentially kids that give you less hassle and don't wear designer duds. So, me being the uber-attachment-parenting-guru-mom veteran that I am, rise, pop open a can of putrid fish parts, divvy it up in the two kittens' bowls and retreat back to my warm bed with large furry spouse. I'm not sure how much time passed before Anju returned and this time I swear, in my mind I had this conversation, "Fucking cat! You know what, I'm just going to bury my head in the crevice of Joe's back, avoid eye contact (they see very well in the dark) and pretend not to hear him...I'm sick of this shit and why doesn't anyone else ever get up in the middle of the night and see what the hell these cats want...I know I'm not the only one that hears this shit." Again, in the uncertainty of semi-consciousness I cannot tell you how much time lapsed before Anju returned. This time I swing the 2 quilts back (I'm anemic.) and stomp (keyword: stomp-it will become integral as the parable moves on) to the foyer, summon Anju as I glance over to the still existing putrid fish parts, I snatch him up from the floor. Still stomping, and partially awake I make my way through the laundry room and to the garage when suddenly I step...pardon stomp-amidst the icy concrete in something soft and about 97.6 degrees. (Why that number? Well, it is an estimate of my body temp at this stage of rest). Simultaneously, half clad teenager arises from his room (bare nipples are prohibited unless nursing infant is attached) and says in a rote tone, "You smelled it too?" It was at that moment that I did smell it and break from my semi-conscious state upon the realization that I am: a) holding a shitty pawed kitten and: b) standing in his not mustardy, soft, yellow shit! After I let out a series of expletives that I totally wish I could remember because I'm sure they were blog-worthy, I commenced to drag my shitty (but soft, you so gotta try Pro-Foot Heel Rescue cream) foot across the frigid concrete and look helplessly for something, anything other than my good towels or table linens to clean this shit off my foot. I continue to smudge; stench ever increasing, and finally I make my way, stepping lightly, to my closet where I grab a torn (albeit super soft that I had no plans of parting with) towel, Joe's tee and Jordan's old shorts. I then retreat to the garage, stare at the shit for a bit and devise a plan. I look over my shoulder and catch-sitting atop the craft bins, a brand new compass sealed in shiny plastic and a hard cardboard backing. In the mind of a creative genius (or just plain crazy person) this transforms to the ultimate shit scooping device. I grab the uncovered litter box, scoop-with my ingenious tool some fresh litter from the top and in Cold Stone Creamery fashion begin to work the litter into the wretched kitten shit until I have gotten it to a scoop-able consistency. I then dump it into the cat box take the entire cat box to the trash bin, dump it, retreat to the kids' bathroom (smile) clean out the offensive box then to the garage to bleach and scrub the cold concrete and finally, to the kids bath again for the Silkwood shower finale.



Where is the parable you ask? It lies in the fact that all of this could have been avoided if I'd just stopped to listen. Every inhabitant of this planet has a message and as the most massive destructive force yes, Homo-sapiens Destroyers of the Universe- Said inwardly, in the He-Man Masters of The Universe narrator dude's voice.-tend to ignore the simplest, messages. Day after day I see and hear crying infants and toddlers who are not being tended to or written off as just spoiled, folks are euthanizing and otherwise neglectfully abandoning pets for "misbehaving"...I watch as food is wasted, thrown in the trash, dismissed as "fat" or "I don't like white/dark meat", etc. These creatures are/were part of this universe too. He too, my shitty little Anju, had a mission, a purpose, a message. As a sensitive person I tend to feel messages with a highly tuned fork if you will. This was a refresher course for me. I'm totally pissed with Anju for overeating to the point where he would shit on the floor, and he shall be dealt with for his gluttony, but I've also been reminded that the little furry guys speak too and it isn't that we cannot understand, but choose to ignore. Before I wrap this up with something totally hysterical I'll give you part one of my admonishment for 2008. Ready? Ok-Clears throat in head and rubs hands together in preparation. "Slow down, listen, think, feel. Then, think again and finally... react". You got it? Okay, good.

Now, for the finale. Cat owners reading this know hell hath no fury greater than the odor of kitten shit. So, for me, for 2008; even if it is just once, I want you to trade your present pox with the following: When someone cuts you in line, cuts you off on the road, takes your parking space, steps on your toe, your boss gets on your last good nerve-whatever it is I want you to say this, "Go step in (feel free to substitute eat, you smell like et al.) hot kitten shit" I know that cat shit rolls more freely with its mono-syllabicism (I totally made that word up-but it works), but there is no greater peril to be bestowed upon man than the funk of kitten shit, particularly at 4:00 am while barefoot and semi-conscious. So, do it for me, I'm certain you'll be glad you did!


Epilogue: (e-pi-log, not, e-pee-luh-goo)
I'm terrible about blogging, truly I am. Namely, because there is so much going on in my daily operations (I took that from Will.I.Am...it's a line from his re-mix of Mas Que Nada with Sergio Mendes, I love that song) that anything which isn't totally necessary and even some things that are, get pushed to the bottom of my "To do:" list which is ironically the very top of my "To do Another Time List". I am going to take baby steps, however. This year to rid my mind of these frivolous rantings, I shall make the world a better place through blogging. I will commit myself to blogging a minimum of once per week. If you are out there reading, drop a comment to motivate me, send me an e-mail (see disclaimer) call me if you know the number. Winks. This is not a New year's resolution-I don't believ in them, but rather a daunting task that must alas be executed.

Epilogue Part Deux: ( I told you, I'm all about it in the wee hours)
And lastly, (the coffee is kicking in now) tell someone you love them and throw them an air kiss if you aren't in close proximity. I don't mean your regular host of people who already know you love them, "Honey bunches of oats with almonds!" (Don't ask) I mean, someone you probably haven't told in forever or someone to whom you've said it to never. My girlfriend Roxanne-totally off subject in one of our e-mail correspondences- slipped in an "I luv you Meka. Muah" It totally made my day. You never know when someone has stepped in hot kitten shit at 4:00am...surely they could use a message of love and hope. Have a peaceful New Year! I love you, mwah!

Goes back for a second cup of coffee and tries to map out the rest of the day.

Long day today...up at 5:00ish for the Emasculating of Anju! All went surprisingly well considering how inexpensive the Humane Society Spay/Neuter & Wellness Center services are. I was expecting a mob upon our arrival our worse some hidden costs-but nope, it was a pretty seamless process. Anju is looking great and back to frolicking about, he's on some pain medication, but doesn't seem any less lucid as a result. If I could just get him on a food that doesn't make him sick-he'd be the perfect little guy. I remember being fond of our other pets, but there is something special about Anju. He just may be my favorite...Don't tell Beau and Biju.

We're closing in on Christmas, although I'm done with my shopping and the selling/shipping rush, it just seems as though you're never quite done prepping for Christmas. It is almost like a wedding; all of the hoopla and headache for one day! I begin the office tomorrow-it is my present to Joe. Our home office is one part studio, home of next dimension music and a high school classroom, not to mention the spot where all of my product photos and descriptions are posted to my Etsy catalog, Indiepublic page and Flickr. It is looking kinda worn and multi-functional. I imagine that to be a stressor on his creative juices, so I'm going to transform- through a series of small additions and substitutions, a space more befitting. Oh joy!

I am back damn it! Grateful as ever that I was able to swim the proverbial tide this holiday season with my budding business venture, but weary from the trip. I am on a virtual Etsy vacation. I'm listing, I'm creating, I'm shipping-but I am limiting fora participation until the new year. It certainly has been a blast and I've built some special relationships along with establishing my business-but as they say familiarity breeds contempt. I'm going to step aside, retreat and recharge. In a week, a mere week away from the fora I have mastered two incredible designs and a total kick ass macro! This is the Ella necklace, it is one of my most recent designs and one I am quite fond of. It is currently for sale in my Etsy shop:

Photography is not my strong suit. I'm all about the stylizing, I can dress the hell out of my product but, what my grey matter and the good folks at Kodak see after the shutter is pressed are very different. That makes this shot of my Caterpillar earrings all the more special. Check out this macro baby! *Screams*

I'll never fully master the kind of control I have between mind, body and spirit with machine-but it won't keep me from getting damn close! This is exactly what I saw in my mind's eye when I finished these earrings and, "Voila"!

Speaking of the body, I've been slacking in my yoga practice and I'm feeling the wear. My core is loose, both mentally and physically. I developed one of those throbbing headaches complete with chakral bursts of negative electric energy today after a 60 seconds phone call home...well NYC-it isn't home anymore. I feel much weaker when I'm not focused and disciplined, it is definitely an area for development as the new year comes about.

Well, I have about 5 drafts awaiting proof, editing and photos. A bientot, and happy reading.

Aargh! My creative chaos has backfired! I have misplaced, lost, thrown away possibly fed a small animal a gorgeous piece of vintage brass that I was finally going to work with this evening! I have gone through all of my boxes, looked under the table, behind the desk, under the abyss that is my dining room table and even through some of the labyrinth that is my coffee table and, nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Grrrrr! If it were beads, eh no sweat just order more minute loss, but vintage means that's it, the only one. Well, maybe not the only one but the others belong to someone's great aunt or her estate! Do you see it anywhere?

I shyed from vintage simply because I wasn't sure that my skills were honed enough to work with one of a kind pieces. There is nothing worse than a disparity between your mind's eye and the message your hands receive. Yesterday I was right on; message clear. I sat down and constructed a beautiful piece of jewelry combining a vintage finding with a beautiful button that I purchased for another project in err. It sold in about 30 minutes of posting it, now that is pretty sweet, yes?! The piece is called Amelia, no particular reason. Well, actually...Laughs. Funny story...a girlfriend has a daughter named Amanda who is pubescent and therefore insane. (as they all are) Anyway, we refer to her alter ego, y'know the one with a little more crazy than the regular pubescent crazy, as Amelia. We spoke yesterday briefly but, geesh I never thought the name would drill it's way into my subconscious so quickly or so easily for that matter. It's a good thing we weren't discussing anything vulgar. Could you just imagine "The Bitch necklace; Available NOW! at Pretty in Peace Designs!" Laughs. Thinks, "Must find necklace and ship to customer" Sips Pinot Grigio...Yet, again as brilliance starts to swirl about the wrinkled grey matter. Jordan enters to interrupt my serenity with some random foolishness. Ugh.

I did some shopping today, for myself actually. Well, Joe and I both picked up a few things. There were some pretty impressive things happening on the old Target (pronounced with French accent egout on 'e') clearance racks. I bought two super soft (like, you had them forever ever) blouses, they were $3.74! Considering, I had a weekly shopping habit of nearly 100 times that (not a typo) that is truly damn impressive! Of course I tried to rationalize buying every pattern/color-but Joe was there to be the frugal voice of reason. Grimaces. Shopping for others kinda stinks. I had a hell of a lot more fun waiting for Santa than being him! I enjoy the happy shiny faces on Christmas morning, but the weeks leading up to it are brutal on my inner spoiled child. Which reminds me isn't this the absolute best magnet?!Another super creative Etsian!

If you have not joined Etsy, you are seriously missing out. Well, perhaps it isn't your thing, but it has seriously helped me recapture and capitulate my creative energies. Goodyear, AZ is like Kryptonite on Creativity. Strip Mall Metropolis that it is, if I shop the malls the only thing that will make me stand out from the crowd is the fact that I'm black and flat chested! Laughs. I miss NYC shopping; The 3rd Street Bazaar and that wonderful marketplace on Broadway...well atleast I've got Etsy. Good night and good shopping!

As not to be redundant I will not begin this post with an admission of blogger's guilt. I will say however if you find yourself missing my musings do feel free to purchase and mail me the following from soapboxtheory! This shop is run by a fellow Etsian who also hosts a page at soapboxtheory.com! These cards make you want to write a letter, throw a Fish-fry, sit down and talk some "good shit".

Speaking of letter writing, this is a pic of the lovely card that I received in the Snail mail Etsy swap, another amazing Etsian and budding entrepreneur.

Ugh...What else has been going on?

Note to self: "You know you are 34 and the days of remembering every minute (and some major) events in your life are coming to a close...blog regularly damn it!"

Oh, okay so did I already mention Yael wants a horse for Christmas? Yes, like a real horse. She's funny. Nothing ceases to amaze me with the little people. Needless to say I am just about done with her Christmas shopping and there shall be no horse. Reality aside-meaning ignore the impracticalities of a Native NYC-er...yes, Queens-not Syracuse, owning a horse. The only thing I know about horses is Central Park and a few girlfriends who don "The Cat". We already have a guinea pig and two kittens that, while I was coerced by promising eyes have met with many a rolled eye when it's time to scoop shit or change bedding! Imagine a friggin' horse-can you just imagine? Yikes!

Oddly enough I can't think of too many items I'd like for Christmas. I have some Etsy favorites picked out and could use some yoga threads (and some damn yoga) and some, like...random "errands-wear". Joe seems to be into the idea of buying me a craft table/station. Like, I really need one. Pffft! What's wrong with what I'm currently using? I mean, look at the bright side of it, I have sold over 100 pieces of jewelry in less than 100 days of business! This morning I woke up to this. The FRONT PAGE TREASURY! And, above and beyond all else-it makes me happy! Being in business for myself and by myself is really an amazing feeling. I'd love a shipping and receiving department, but y'know I'm taking baby steps! We all have to start somwhere, yes?

Well, that's a pretty brief update of the stuff I can remember. And, for all of the stuff I've forgotten, Coming soon to a PC near you a NEW! Flickr page...well, eventually-anyway. Peace.

Popcorn, cards and crackers-I absolutely love my Etsy life. There is nothing greater for the gloomy Arizona winter days than crafting. Granted, there are a bazillion things I could do in and about the house, but the gratification from making something beautiful is just surreal.

This year I've gone with a Cozy Country theme for Christmas, so far I have strung enough popcorn to wrap all 7.5 feet of our family tree. Of course, with the help of my favorite guy. I'm all about themes. I wonder if I'll ever cave and let the children participate in the dressing of the tree. Joe has coined me the, "Christmas Nazi". It is an interesting paradigm, but it holds quite a bit of merit. I just have this mental image every year of what I need the tree to look like and know that I cannot go forward and be merry if that vision is not fulfilled. I wonder what adverse effects this will have on the children. Will they monopolize their own family trees'? Or, to drive me nuts, will they invite me over with the largest un-themed (Is that a word? Let's go with theme-less.) hodge podge of holiday madness tree-smack dab in the center of their living room. Oh, the horror! Shakes head to rid evil thoughts.

Speaking of old fashioned (gotta love the segue) a fellow Etsian launched a snail mail campaign celebrating the art of stationery and letter writing and I jumped right on it. Although my paper goods shop didn't take off with the fortitude of Pretty in Peace, it still remains dear to me. This is what I came up with for my partner:

I combined some archival and cotton fiber papers and attached them decoupage style to a tri fold natural cardstock. I punched holes at the corners and ribbon-tied the note with peach polyester ribbon.

Next up...the Christmas Cracker Swap! On Monday I will complete and stuff a gorgeous Christmas cracker that I've designed for another member of the fantastic Etsy community. This idea came to me via the fora from two very innovative ladies, Carolyn and Valerie. Valerie also happens to be my partner, therfore, I will not be posting the contents of this lovely cracker. Surprises are a good thing. Instead, be on the lookout for the cracker I am to receive from Valerie and the letter from my elusive snail mail partner.

These little bits of happiness are really a load of fun and helps build the sense of community on Etsy that is so easily lost in the murky snark swamps of the fora.