A new moon...

A new moon tonight, it's certainly time, I'm feeling eager for change and advancement. I've been toying with my blog in my mind and really trying to hone in on what I want this blog to be for me. Do I want to have featured artists, items and themes; cohesion, or do I want it to be a mix of things; literary salmagundi. There is the ambivalence from reading others' blogs and their many comments and blog links and fans, that got the cogs spinning. Truth is, in real life I'm complex and varied and my friends fans and foes are few and far between. I guess I just solved my own conundrum, eh?

My lotus collage project still sits atop the table vying for love and completion amidst the ingredients for my next piece of art candy. I'm toying with the idea of moving my workspace again. After setting up rather nicely in a corner of my bedroom with a peaceful view of the trees, birds and bees in our backyard, I sat and realized that OCD prevents me from working with the left side of my body towards the wall and Feng Shui prevents me from working with my back facing the door. And, we're off again. There is great lighting and two outlets in the foyer, so that's a possibility. It also puts me fairly close to the central command station-what most would call their front door, with full view of the company my charges keep. Winks. I just can't call it.

Jewelry sales have been slow, I'm relying heavily on consignment for funds these days. I've been fortunate and can't complain. Pretty in Peace hit the ground running, I'm looking at this lull as an opportunity to devote my creative energies to other endeavors, like this blog and creating a propitious workspace.

All Quiet On The Western Front

Sigh of relief. Things are going much better at home. We had a family summit at the local greasy spoon and, the husband and I are speaking the same language with minor variances in dialect. Overall, much closer to understanding each other than days' previous, it is a most pleasant end to an uber shitty week. Here's to more peace and love on Pierce Street.

Other nibblets of newsworthiness: Yael had her first sewing lesson on Saturday in preparation for the arrival of a sewing machine. This is going to be exceptionally fun and challenging as I do not man machinery quite as well as my noodle and fingers. And, I've never successfully sewn anything, not even a button. She, on the other hand seems to have caught on quickly, per the untrained eye of a proud mom.

Lucifer is here! The Lucifer Principle came in yesterday, just in time for Project 40. First the book- a few weeks ago I engaged (against my own better judgment) in a debate about supporting the troops and the definition of murder sans justification. Per usual, fellow Etsian and artist Reverend Ross stopped in to drop a piece of knowledge. This time it was genuine; Rev has a rather odd sense of timing his replies, deliberately and pretty funny, I might add. Only, this time he recommended The Lucifer Principle as an explanation of the history of war and violence.

The Lucifer Principle per what I've gleaned in the first 30 pages is a scientific theorem of evil as an intrinsic versus extrinsic force. Without giving away all that I've read thus far, I will say that Howard Bloom was listening to me explain to my ever worrisome grandmother how listening to Guns & Roses would not cause me to harm myself or others. She's really cute and old fashioned; even gullible at times. If evil is in fact a learned/observed behavior, what's up with the other animals? Did the planet's now extinct predators just TiVo this shit for us ? Hmmm? Anyway, thanks Rev!

You'll notice some changes here at the Hive, I've moved things about and will continue to do so until such time as HTML leads me to the path of total blog annihilation or I get it just right. The banner is especially lovely, yes? I swapped a piece of jewelry for design services. Pretty in Peace, almost a year in the making needed a more prominent presence here. The designer without prompting chose the Lakshmi ring for its beehive resemblance. When I initially designed the ring, I saw the great Goddess Lakshmi; golden and luminescent, standing tall and strong in representation of wealth and prosperity. There has to be some sort of universal connection here. Artistic interpretation is intriguing, yes?

Subtle segue...I am on Etsy fora timeout for pointing out malicious intent in a thread. For what it's worth, the temporary muting is fair practice per Etsy standards. On a personal note, it's like, "Whatever". Yes, I did say, "It [was] starting to smell like cat shit", in reference to the overall tone of a thread and all of the estrogen induced mania. I just feel on the general scale of fora posting madness, my comment; a mere pimple on the ass of life-is surely not mute-worthy. But, as the NEW! adage goes, "When one thread closes another opens". I'm now going to use all of my power for the greater good and keep my wit, wisdom and abrasion right here, LIVE! and Uncensored at the Hive. I can't in good conscience spend nearly as much time in the fora as I have previously, as a rule I avoid casual socialization and, as it appears virtual communications are pretty much the same. I doubt I'll ever play nice with others, so I create, alone.

And last, but certainly most important, Project 40! I'm excited and ambivalent about this. One of the most arduous tasks for me is shut down/up. Lots of mental restarts going on here, but no genuine log off, shut down and just be. I'm consistently trying to complete my mental to-do list or adding shit to the actual to-do list. (Sings) "These are the thoughts that never end, they just go on and on my friends, 'cause when I get to thinking-well, just thinking ain't enough then I will add more shit to my agenda just because..." repeat until you crack. The folks at Yoga For Everybody have challenged me-(Yes, every e-mail short of genitals enlargement spam is perceived an authentic challenge) to a daily heart health meditation for 40 whole days. Those ancient spiritualists were really a force with whom to be reckoned; I generally lose interest in commitment to anything/one in a week or so. So for the next 40 days I will devote 15 preciously neurotic minutes to total relaxation. *Faints*

My Not so Extreme Makeover

Uh so tell me Blogger aficionados, is HTML ESL for "How to Make Lunatic?" I can read, write, type and have exceptional spelling and grammar skills. Is that not enough to qualify me for frou frou blog status without the hype that is HTML? For Pete's sake, I think I'm doing okay, and then I pull a savant move like adding a friggin' JPEG file and end up with 167 line spaces between my last thought and the image. Can I get a break, don't tell me bloggin', alongside craftin'-ain't easy.

I've recently summoned the aid of an Etsian graphics designer to give me a face lift for my anniversary. June marks a year in the life of a blogger. Throws confetti. So postings will be few far between and fairly scant as I prepare for my NEW! look. Have a gander at some of my previous yammerings, on occasion I have found myself quite profound...near genius even. Cheers.

Aggression, Assertion and Assholiness

It's been fairly quiet today in the aftermath of Tuesday's tempest and Wednesday's warpath (see photo right). Little has been resolved, actually nothing has been resolved-but I'm okay. I need this time to come down a notch, medicate and transcend from aggression to assertion. Luckily I'm also fora grounded so I will not be overwhelmed by stupidity during my transcendence. I wish I'd known someone was going to scold me, I would've at least made it worth while. Note to those who are easily offended; "Don't start none, won't be none". I wasn't going to tell this rudimentary tale, but as it turns out it is a suitable segue for the next topic in my communication series.

First, let me quickly refer back to, "Don't start none, won't be none". I find this is where most folks go wrong. "Don't bark with the big dogs and piss like a puppy". I'm all about the nice nice, and I love good conversation, but you can't open up a can of kick ass, "pat it , roll it and mark it with B" once it's open it's on! There is a difference between aggressive approach and assertive approach which is what many don't seem to get. Let's go into some examples, okay?

Say you're having a discussion and you want it to end because the other person is getting on your last damn nerve, they are interrupting, raising their voice-overall just not presenting an effective argument. What do you do: a) Say shut-up b) Please shut the fuck up c) If you continue to yell and interrupt me I am not going to have this discussion with you. Of course the initial gut response is "A" (as much as "A" and "B"actually tend to work better) the correct answer is "C". The reason is the other options are an attempt at controlling someone else's actions which is not your job. Asserting yourself is just that, putting yourself in a position of assertion; a firm stance.

The other two choices are acts of verbal aggression. Depending on who you are having this heated discussion with any act of aggression will only result in further aggression ("Did you hear that Dubya"?)

Assertive lies somewhere between Aggressive and Passive, I think it differs in each individual. I'll use myself as an example. When I am faced with an act of assholiness, my initial reaction is to be passive. Really, I know it is hard to believe because I am very temperamental, but before I give the business, there is a very brief period where I consider and sometimes utter a passive word. "OK." "You're right". "I'm wrong". "It's done." "Let's just forget about it". "But no! (says like Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden) "You gotta be a blabber mouth!" Aggression, here I come, and now all of the eloquence has left the building with Elvis and it's time to ride the USS Fuck You with me as your Cap'n. Seriously, that is who I really am. Then in sweeps a moment of reflection and feeling like I just got caught with a head scarf on, knot in the front and, a cigarette dangling from dry lips, in a mu-mu with tube socks and sandals-I run for cover, fix up and return with my cape on as Assertive-woman (with the occasional hint of condescension, but I'm working on it) and resume all faculties and head back to the land of reason and eloquence.You're in really good shape if you can get there without all of the intermittent shenanigans!

I've a childhood friend who is about to marry soon, and we often discuss the human condition and how it relates to the woman and man conditions respectively. Now as Black and Hispanic women we have a penchant for histrionics, so I want to play this scenario especially for my committee member as I see it all goin' down.

The Dinner Dance

Female: What do you want to eat?
Male: I don't know, whatever.
Female: What do you mean whatever, tell me something.
Male: With raised voice-"Whatever! Whatever! Why you gotta make such a big deal just make something! Damn..."
Female: Rubs hands together like an evil fly and makes the one meal you know damn well he doesn't like.
Male: Ah c'mon you made ________!(Insert quick easy not too dandy tasting meal here) Stomps around house in disgust.
Female: You know what pendejo/asshole, I fuckin' asked you what you wanted and you said whatever so that's what you get and if you don't like it comer mierda/eat an ass.
Male: What's your problem?
Female: Nothing.

The steps to the dance are: neutral, passive, aggressive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, aggressive/perpetual victim, aggressive/guilt-ridden, passive, passive, jazz hands, repeat.

The Dinner Date

Female: What do you want to eat?
Male: I don't know, whatever.
Female: Why whatever? I need an idea so I can get it started/ordered.

Male: With raised voice-"Whatever! Whatever! Why you gotta make such a big deal just make something! Damn..."
Female: (Calm but firm) I cannot continue this discussion unless you lower your voice.

Male: Still ranting.
Female: This discussion is over until you are able to speak to me respectfully. Hang up/Walk out.

Give it a few, he'll likely call with a man reason, what women tend to refer to as an excuse. Now you're probably too pissed to eat anyway, but he can't come back and flip it nor did you give up any dignity in the process. You stood your ground without raising the roof.

Male: I'm sorry honey/mami, I'm just really tired. I'll pick up something on the way home.

Female: I understand. I'll see you soon.

Screaming Wench Disclaimer: The first time you address your partner like this he is going to check his beer for anti-freeze or sleep with one eye open and one shoe on. It's okay, they will eventually come to respect you for it and even learn something...hopefully. Rolls eyes.

Hellraiser Disclaimer: When he comes in for the love of Bob, please do not ask, "And what did you have your ass on your shoulders about? I was just asking you what you wanted to eat. Shit, that's what I get for being nice, I'll never ask you shit again. and I don't want that shit you picked up nobody told you to get that. Slams door.

Laughs, that's all for tonight. If you haven't taken the poll yet, please do. Thanks and be nice.

Note: Blogger is taking me within reach of a complete pscychotic break with the paragraph spacing issues...seriously.

Grin and Bear It

Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus...Is it really that difficult? Interplanetary correspondence and comprehension? I mean, is it really that difficult? I'd like to think in this great age of technological advancement we could narrow these broad communication ranges. Hell, with the internet and all, you're seriously telling me it has to be this complex?! You have got to be shittin' me!

Lately life in my house has been a lot like world travel, in some Quantum leap I have landed in the world of, "No-one-(my husband and teenage son) has-any-idea-what-the-fuck-I'm-talking- about." (Bob, I love that word, have you seen the movie? Good shit, I highly recommend). What do you do in a situation like this? Last night I cried, and I went to sleep with so much tension on my brain that I contemplated removing my eyes with a grapefruit spoon to allow my burgeoning amygdala room to breathe. Then I remembered my sonar is off so, not a brilliant idea. I then thought, perhaps I'll eat a box of donuts...nah, I'll just then be overweight and misunderstood. Well, here I sit on this glorious Thursday morning looking much like a tourist in my own home. I've a "Haven't-the-vaguest-idea-who-these-crazy-people-are-or-what-they-want from-me" expression on my face and a cup of molten lava hot coffee as I grin and bear it.

Oh and by the way Mr Gray, women are from Earth, Mars is where men go so they can pretend they can't hear what the hell we're saying! Want to preserve your sanity and the sanity of those around you...see here and tune in again tomorrow.