Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Huh?

Sunday, August 29th 2010 11:30ish PM
That's me on the left: tank top, flip flops, Stella Artois and a smile; just a' two-stepping it up on the dance floor. 'Til the beers kicked in, the flip flops became formidable, and came off, then I went into full-on terpsichore. "Aww shit y'all"! I was looking good: pig-tails tight, not a menopausal pimple in sight; just workin' it, in my pear-shaped-body-friendly jeans. Hell, just a beer before the one shown, a nice young man with a flashlight asked me for ID! Aww-shit-y'all-gaze, with a wink and a gun.

Tuesday, August 31st 2010 6:00ish PM
Those are medical records, and the hand of the nice woman who is explaining the costs associated with the purchase of my brand spankin' NEW! Bifocals! Still-slightly-dilated-glazed-over-oh-shit eyes.



Note: I have apparently been ambling about the past noneofyourdamnbusinesshowmany years as a visually impaired person. Please accept this sincere one-time-only apology for any boogers I've neglected to point out; as well as any unbecoming hairdos, outfits, and random unattractive wo/men you've had the misfortune of obliviously engaging as a result of my absence of ocular awareness. I assure you my intentions were good...mostly.


Peace and clarity

4 comments:

3pieceonline said...

Well you still look good in your pear shape friendly jeans and bifocals be damned they make them without lines now right?

Patrice-The Soap Seduction said...

I love getting carded at the ripe ol' age of 39! And I leave a lil extra somethin' in my tips when I do...awww shit!

fly tie said...

ha! hilariuos.

regarding the glasses, welcome to the club! (the bifocal one, that is.)

a not so proud member since 1984!

*typed as i sit here with mine missing a screw and lopsided on my face from them being stepped on, sat on, dropped, etc.*

Barbara said...

LMAO. Note taken.

Watch out now. You know those sexy readers are gonna add a whole new element to those tank top-Stella-flip flop-curve loving jeans-groovy nights =). Your new specks come on the heels of my first in noneofyourdamnbusinesshowmany years eye exam!! WhooHoo! I'm right behind you friend.

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