Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Sunday, August 29th 2010 11:30ish PM
That's me on the left: tank top, flip flops, Stella Artois and a smile; just a' two-stepping it up on the dance floor. 'Til the beers kicked in, the flip flops became formidable, and came off, then I went into full-on terpsichore. "Aww shit y'all"! I was looking good: pig-tails tight, not a menopausal pimple in sight; just workin' it, in my pear-shaped-body-friendly jeans. Hell, just a beer before the one shown, a nice young man with a flashlight asked me for ID! Aww-shit-y'all-gaze, with a wink and a gun.

Tuesday, August 31st 2010 6:00ish PM
Those are medical records, and the hand of the nice woman who is explaining the costs associated with the purchase of my brand spankin' NEW! Bifocals! Still-slightly-dilated-glazed-over-oh-shit eyes.

Note: I have apparently been ambling about the past noneofyourdamnbusinesshowmany years as a visually impaired person. Please accept this sincere one-time-only apology for any boogers I've neglected to point out; as well as any unbecoming hairdos, outfits, and random unattractive wo/men you've had the misfortune of obliviously engaging as a result of my absence of ocular awareness. I assure you my intentions were good...mostly.

Peace and clarity


3pieceonline said...

Well you still look good in your pear shape friendly jeans and bifocals be damned they make them without lines now right?

Patrice-The Soap Seduction said...

I love getting carded at the ripe ol' age of 39! And I leave a lil extra somethin' in my tips when I do...awww shit!

fly tie said...

ha! hilariuos.

regarding the glasses, welcome to the club! (the bifocal one, that is.)

a not so proud member since 1984!

*typed as i sit here with mine missing a screw and lopsided on my face from them being stepped on, sat on, dropped, etc.*

Barbara said...

LMAO. Note taken.

Watch out now. You know those sexy readers are gonna add a whole new element to those tank top-Stella-flip flop-curve loving jeans-groovy nights =). Your new specks come on the heels of my first in noneofyourdamnbusinesshowmany years eye exam!! WhooHoo! I'm right behind you friend.

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