"Twas the night before Christmas, Christmas day, the day after and another damn day after that, and all the through the house not a kind word was spoken betwixt a wife and her spouse."
Alas I've reached the point of reason...well, maybe not reason but some semblance of cogent thought and articulation, that I might write (Read: purge) what ails me about "special days" and the special pressures they present. Along the same vein as people who bellow out in anguish and upset when their favorite celebrity is revealed to be er...um, human, I have come to find that I have gravely mistaken egg nog as the cure for assholery. Hark, the shame and frustration!
Much like celebrities, special days are just regular ol' days with added expense, pretense and expectations. And boy, did that I ever learn that the hard way this year.
Some of you may have noticed my erratic and harried posting schedule; many days and events' recaps cut from lag between posts and sheer lack of memory. I've been pretty bogged down with my business, my books and some of the less exciting aspects of real life. Why, why then- did I think the twenty-fourth of December would swoop in on a sleigh and bring with it cute mammals adorned in bells -of the un-ringing variety, please, I am a mother, silence is both golden, and scarce- patience, peace, respect, consideration, compassion, [insert other things that don't incite me to full-blown histrionics]. What was I thinking?! Well, whatever it was, clearly it was not a shared sentiment, because my December 24th came swooping in alright, and out of me came words I'm almost ashamed to repeat. OK, so that last part is a big fat lie if I ever told one, but it sounds good...so, let's stick with it.
In truth, it was disappointing, I was disappointed, I am disappointed, and although I'm quite pissed with the Favorite Guy, I may very well be most pissed with myself for having just realized...admitted- Oh semantics, you can suck it too- the obvious."This is no new elephant, Tameka, and you went and put lights and silver doodads on it?! Hell, now it seems larger, and even more ominous"!
Now on the heels of a brand NEW! year, I'm feeling yet more pressure. Yes, in addition to the sad and heavy said glittered elephant has left deep in my craw. "I've got to snap out of this, everyone will be making resolutions and writing lists", I say. Yet, the best I can come up with is a plan for surrender, a white flag, an un-flipped bird, one final act of anything but willful resignation. More pressure, more pretense, more blog fodder. Sighs and sulks.
Much like celebrities, special days are just regular ol' days with added expense, pretense and expectations. And boy, did that I ever learn that the hard way this year.
Some of you may have noticed my erratic and harried posting schedule; many days and events' recaps cut from lag between posts and sheer lack of memory. I've been pretty bogged down with my business, my books and some of the less exciting aspects of real life. Why, why then- did I think the twenty-fourth of December would swoop in on a sleigh and bring with it cute mammals adorned in bells -of the un-ringing variety, please, I am a mother, silence is both golden, and scarce- patience, peace, respect, consideration, compassion, [insert other things that don't incite me to full-blown histrionics]. What was I thinking?! Well, whatever it was, clearly it was not a shared sentiment, because my December 24th came swooping in alright, and out of me came words I'm almost ashamed to repeat. OK, so that last part is a big fat lie if I ever told one, but it sounds good...so, let's stick with it.
In truth, it was disappointing, I was disappointed, I am disappointed, and although I'm quite pissed with the Favorite Guy, I may very well be most pissed with myself for having just realized...admitted- Oh semantics, you can suck it too- the obvious."This is no new elephant, Tameka, and you went and put lights and silver doodads on it?! Hell, now it seems larger, and even more ominous"!
Now on the heels of a brand NEW! year, I'm feeling yet more pressure. Yes, in addition to the sad and heavy said glittered elephant has left deep in my craw. "I've got to snap out of this, everyone will be making resolutions and writing lists", I say. Yet, the best I can come up with is a plan for surrender, a white flag, an un-flipped bird, one final act of anything but willful resignation. More pressure, more pretense, more blog fodder. Sighs and sulks.
Hey, how much alcohol do you think it takes to kill an elephant? No, not a real one, silly.
I'll take peace for a thousand , Alex.
