Monday, December 27, 2010

The Ghost of Christmas Impasse

"Twas the night before Christmas, Christmas day, the day after and another damn day after that, and all the through the house not a kind word was spoken betwixt a wife and her spouse."

Alas I've reached the point of reason...well, maybe not reason but some semblance of cogent thought and articulation, that I might write (Read: purge) what ails me about "special days" and the special pressures they present. Along the same vein as people who bellow out in anguish and upset when their favorite celebrity is revealed to be, human, I have come to find that I have gravely mistaken egg nog as the cure for assholery. Hark, the shame and frustration!

Much like celebrities, special days are just regular ol' days with added expense, pretense and expectations. And boy, did that I ever learn that the hard way this year.

Some of you may have noticed my erratic and harried posting schedule; many days and events' recaps cut from lag between posts and sheer lack of memory. I've been pretty bogged down with my business, my books and some of the less exciting aspects of real life. Why, why then- did I think the twenty-fourth of December would swoop in on a sleigh and bring with it cute mammals adorned in bells -of the un-ringing variety, please, I am a mother, silence is both golden, and scarce- patience, peace, respect, consideration, compassion, [insert other things that don't incite me to full-blown histrionics]. What was I thinking?! Well, whatever it was, clearly it was not a shared sentiment, because my December 24th came swooping in alright, and out of me came words I'm almost ashamed to repeat. OK, so that last part is a big fat lie if I ever told one, but it sounds, let's stick with it.

In truth, it was disappointing, I was disappointed, I am disappointed, and although I'm quite pissed with the Favorite Guy, I may very well be most pissed with myself for having just realized...admitted- Oh semantics, you can suck it too- the obvious."This is no new elephant, Tameka, and you went and put lights and silver doodads on it?! Hell, now it seems larger, and even more ominous"!

Now on the heels of a brand NEW! year, I'm feeling yet more pressure. Yes, in addition to the sad and heavy said glittered elephant has left deep in my craw. "I've got to snap out of this, everyone will be making resolutions and writing lists", I say. Yet, the best I can come up with is a plan for surrender, a white flag, an un-flipped bird, one final act of anything but willful resignation. More pressure, more pretense, more blog fodder. Sighs and sulks.

Hey, how much alcohol do you think it takes to kill an elephant? No, not a real one, silly.

I'll take peace for a thousand , Alex.


Patrice-The Soap Seduction said...

Girl, you crack me up! I love you for keeping it's too a more prosperous and organized 2011<3

mairedodd said...

this moved me to tears because i am relating to what you said... i admire you for putting it out there with style... and am always in awe of your authorship... hey, how about we grab and beer (or 2 or 10) and disappear for a while? sending love & light your way...

Judith Mercado said...

The details may be different but I think you spoke for many, many people ... and you did it so well.

Jewelry Rockstar said...

Rule #12 never go into a holiday pissed. It just drones on and all you see are side-eyes and head wags.

Anonymous said...

I didn't decorate this year... it was one thing I couldn't get to... well, that and the floor where I would have put the tree. I think I manage to get the Christmas stuff done every other year which I am good with.

And just fyi you rock! If we lived closer I would totally take you out for drinks.

Jill said...

You've made me smile, laugh, and feel very sad for you all in one post. Praying for you that the surrender you feel inclined to, is one to accepting what you cannot change.

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