I sat, ruminating on the future, breaking my pensive gaze from my frothy mug only to wince fleetingly as the tug of the past seven months dared to lure me away from the beauty of this moment. What a privilege and gift it is to be deeply loved, I thought, as I shook away the still very raw feelings of what the antithesis of this recognizance holds.
It's been so trying the past few months, wanting to connect with my readers, wanting to express my feelings in words, yet wanting to keep the wounds under wraps. I was in a literary stranglehold and, now realize that the only way to breathe again is to look toward the screen, tilt my head slightly to the left and type.
I recently remarked to a fellow wordsmith that I'd felt as though my creative and emotional outlets had been infiltrated by the influence of well-meaning friends and supporters. That, in their quest to help me regain focus and, "find myself", I'd in turn become more "lost", lost in their ideologies and emotions about what was happening in my life. I suppose, I still find my way best in silence and solitude.
Like this morning, whilst checking on my feral friends after a rough, stormy night in the valley. There was this little yellow leaf, stuck to my window. An isolated hint of beauty was the only evidence left of the tempest. It inspired the summation of where I am emotionally at this moment: shaken from my roots, displaced, clinging to hope, yet still filled with beauty and the capacity to make someone smile.
Where are you at this moment?
Peace and words
5 comments:
...at this moment I am enjoying a moment of silence. Feeling excited to let homeschooling go, so that I can work again. I mean really work again. I know I will get, so much more done in a quiet home:)
So good to see you back and reading your gorgeous words again:) I am taking a moment to a read some good blogs, sip on my tea and just relax after a day of running around:):)
I am sitting in my down chair looking at my little stream and thinking how wonderful it is to be in the moment. The next one may not be as calm and ordinary as this one, so I think I'll linger for a bit.
You are a terrific writer.
Every time I read your blog I am always left wondering why I don't come here more often. I love your words... not just the cawfee drinking. You are such an awesome writer. Really... I am so inspired.
I know exactly what you mean...
I am dancing between blogs and books, and hooks and yarn. Not to mention, a whole lot of contemplation.
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