Dead...

Another hard drive bites the dust. I gotta tell you, this is a mixed media artist, blogger turned photographer by default disaster...and even more disastrous for the mixed media artist, blogger turned photographer by default, who was already deep in the throes of an absolutely sucktastic summer! What the hell, Universe? This is simply inhumane. As I type this, part of me wonders if I should treat myself to a Lobotomy for Dummies book for my blogoversary, the only thing stopping me from googling such a book is the unlikelihood that there is such a book. Quel horreur!

On the slightly more luminous side-very slightly-my blogoversary and 37th birthday are quickly approaching and I can look forward to starting anew. Which I absolutely loathe, but it sounded good for the moment. In truth, from an organizational perspective chronicling my 37th year of life in photos and prose in a virginal location in cyberspace is quite nice, ideal even-but the whole abrupt ending without my knowledge or consent part is um...yeah, pretty shitty.

I don't know Universe, you're testing the loosely held levees of my sanity-comical as it may be at times, you wouldn't like me when I'm crazy. Meh, I'm off to bake cupcakes...it's still too early for beer. Have a fabulous weekend for me, will ya?

Um...I said Peace, please

Roots

Yael Rose, 3 days shy of 11

Roots...roots and rooting. I'll be- well, maybe not the first, but pretty close to- first person to admit that sometimes I lose my way; I lose my focus, my footing, my roots. Life in all of its intricate complexity, twists, turns and such, can really-no, really put a spin on the way we think it should be; the way we envisioned, the way we intended. You know what I mean, right? The kind of shtuff (I'm not afraid of the word "shit" -just so you know-but, I've met my belligerence quota for the week.) that happens between planning and fruition, and after "Plan B". That, my friends, is precisely when life calls for a 90 minute phone call with grandma, a soul-less soul food recipe involving faux pork infusion, and some quiet time, twisting away on sweetly scented scalps.

Some time ago, one of my fellow "transplanted" girlfriends mentioned that she needs to ground herself with her, "New York shit": quarantined in the car alone, with a song or four, thousands of miles from "home" in reality, but in a place, in a space of this-is-as-good-as-it-gets-right-now satisfaction. I think I get it.

Make no mistake, I don't miss NYC, and I am at home here...but, I was missing something; some sort of connectivity was lacking, and my return to the simplicity of rich Gullah convo, cornrows and cornbread (far too many pieces) made me realize, I'm perfectly content and at ease without it, or I found it. Perhaps I never lost it, whatever it was. Forward march...

Peace

Lifelines and Deadlines

"Rock Needs Paper" :

The rock I found on my walk.

It is most delightfully flat on both sides, and screaming for mixed media perfection.

Ever feel like there just isn't enough time and, "give a shit" in you to get it all done? That's where I am today. I have some pressing deadlines and boy are they ever pressing on my lifeline. I'm finding it difficult to schedule the wants between the rampant bellowing of the needs, both my own and that of others.

It isn't even the anxiety of all of the impending festivities. Nope, it's not that at all. It's just well...I suppose I'm being juvenile, but I plain old don't feel like doing anything that requires any actual doing. I'd like nothing more than to sit on my ass and dream a little dream about sitting on my ass and dreaming. Not exactly a novel concept I suppose, but it's feeling pretty damn novel in my busy life right about now.

Every time I glance over at the time I get a little more agitated, "The day is coming to a close, what do I still need to get done ?" You're probably thinking I should be doing and not blogging, yes? And I guess I could, but there has to be some balance. I enjoy blogging and I'm hoping that my public venting will ease the agitative angst and I'll smoothly segue into some super-productive stupor. I doubt it, but the thought did make me smile...well, it was more like a grimace-like wince sort of thing, but certainly the closest I've gotten to a smile this expletive-filled Wednesday afternoon.

Inner-peace would be nice...

Farewell, Lupe...

We could have never known how long her visit would be or how deeply we'd each be touched in the short time she spent with us. It's been quite the ride, you'll be sorely missed. Have a peaceful journey over the rainbow bridge, "Loops". Tell Beau we send our love, try to "play nice" although, I don't think you really cared for him much. Bittersweet smiles.

Peace

A Celebratory Lunch

One of my faves: celery, spinach, romaine lettuce and lemons
Fasting: Day 6/10

A couple of things I'm aglow about today:

The grade: Let's get that out of the way first. 49/50-She felt my essay was so "well researched and presented" that she counted the egregious offenses as "typos" and took off one grade point. She urged me to "re-read before submitting" in the comments. The last-word-Lucy in me -Surely you regulars have deduced this by now, yes?- wanted to tell her that I had in fact read it a number of times, but the 49/50 quickly silenced my blathering brain.

The brain: I have not had a headache- mild or otherwise- since day two of the fast. If you're not a headache sufferer, be glad...be very glad. I have been able to accomplish so much this week and overall I'm happier; chronic pain can be quite depressing. I'm also feeling sharper with the veil of discomfort lifted.

The summer: Not the hotter than hell part, but all of the Mercado Family fun we have planned! We've got birthdays: Yael turns 11 on 6/22, Tea & Honey Bread and Pretty in Peace turn 3 on 7/1, I'll be 37 on 7/12, Favorite Guy hits 41 on 7/21! We also have our summer vacation later in July and our wedding anniversary on 8/2. Perhaps, I should just rinse my wine glass and keep it on the counter for easy access, eh?

Peace and good times

Er...Um...Uh

What was I sayin' ? Furls brow and looks about quizzically.

There's been far too much of that going on lately, far too much. Y'know what that means, it's time for the biannual detox. I gotta tell you, I'm not all that certain that detoxification has ever been proven to increase mental acuity, but I am sharp (and angry) as shit when I'm hungry. The desire for the divinity that is mastication justifies the means. Besides, you can certainly get more done when you free up the beer and cookie hand.

In truth last week was the last straw, not only was I intermittently bed-ridden with the worst-insert "F- Bomb"- headaches ever, but amidst the mental fog I still submitted a research project. It was however, complete with my own special brand of side notes. It went a little something like this:

The Grand Valley Dani of (J-? ^spell) Indonesia maintain cohesiveness through mechanical solidarity; a concept developed by (insert Fr. dude's name, yr)...

It should have read:

The Grand Valley Dani of Irian Jaya, Indonesia maintain cohesiveness through mechanical solidarity; a concept developed by French sociologist, Emile Durkheim in the 1890s.

I proofread it twice and didn't catch it until the following morning! So, here I sit with my cup of lemon cucumber water waiting on word (and the poor grade) from my professor. Sighs. Oy to the vey...so um yeah...you might wanna make an offering up to the Universe in my honor, I have been known to lose my shit when I'm hungry or harshly criticized. Hmmp. What's been going on with you? I've missed you.

Peace and purification