Today has been an oatmeal kind of day. Oatmeal being my description for anything that lacks any particular level of interest. Just a neutral day for me today, I guess those are okay, and even good for you sometimes.

Of course I'm multi-crafting again. My thumb is still fairly sensitive, but I'm pushing the envelope so I can finish my lotus collage and move on to the next venture with my NEW! goodies. I've also been spying on a kiln recently...I'll need to cut my Paypal card up and limit myself to shop listing only in order to stash away enough Pretty in Peace profits to buy it for myself, so I added it to my birthday wish list. Yep, you guessed; Mother's Day is already filled.

I did something cool today! I donated a piece of Pretty in Peace jewelry to Project Cat. This Etsian run project to help the aptly titled Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh is of special personal interest to me as the not particularly wealthy mother of two rescue kitties. My children, Anju and Biju are as much a part of my family as Monsieur beau and the children that share my deoxynucleic acid. ( I just felt like being pretentious...bare with me I told you I've been bored all day) Anyway, my gorgeous felines probably would have ended up as feral strays had we not rescued them, fixed them up and taught them some indoor kittiequette. There may not be a home for all of these lovelies, but I'm happy to have a small part in minimizing the homeless pet issue. If you are interested in donating a piece of work, please contact http://www.project-cat.blogspot.com/.

The Arizona summer is here, not full boiling, bubbling skin throttle yet, but close enough. I went out back to take the recycling and upon opening the door felt that backdraft-esque breeze of hot air! It's definitely time to get a routine work-out schedule going, hair and skin is enough of a burden in this heat without extra butt cheek slowing me down. I downloaded a bunch of songs for my walk, some old, some new; genres are all over the place! Seriously, the song immediately following Talib Kweli and Mos Def's What's Beef on my MP3 is Bubbly by Colbie Caillat...sometimes I have to laugh at myself.

Artists, Activists and Assholes

First let me just say that I know I suck a tiny bit for not posting in a few days, but so much...okay well, I've just been lazy. If I could hire someone just once a week to transcribe what the voices in my head are discussing this blog would be Pulitzer ready!

I tried to incorporate my right thumb into a design with my new pliers and I'm on jewelry making break for a few more days. Subsequently, as the cliche goes, "Idle hands"...have gotten me into some trouble for lack of a better word; trouble implies that I give a shit, and I don't. It seems as the title of this post would indicate that the lines are often blurred amidst this clever A-string alliteration and, while I'd like to specify where I've witnessed the most prevalence it wouldn't be fair since I don't participate in any other on-line art communities.

I've noticed this inherent need for separation and elitism amongst the artistic community and it is not only hypocritical but fairly counterproductive. Art is; no more no less. Who or how are we anymore well versed in the indefinable as the next person. Who are we then to say their product is not art. It's like saying some one's sorrow isn't theirs. I say this because language is often over looked as an art form (although it was one of the first). When you censor an artist's verbiage, you are in essence telling them how to paint their canvas, how to layout their mosaic, where to trim their fabric, you are trying to alter their genius.

Many will cry first amendment rights to this and that in itself works both for and against the artist. Assuming, that it is an artist's government given right to express themselves versus an intrinsic need. Using government to "protect" said rights is separating the art from the artist or the self. I wonder sometimes if I am an artist or a creative intellectual because much of this, my ramblings that is-are free form, there is no draft, no sorting of ideas, it's all just a natural flow of my ideas. The depth of thought would appear to be artistic in nature, but the rationale and logic would lean more left of that, left hemisphere that is. Wherever it comes from, I'm just not myself without it and will protect my right to exist with all that I am.

There has been much activism surrounding artistic expression lately, from the above language choices right on down to the controversy surrounding Guillermo Vargas Habacuc and Eres Lo Que Lees. Rings bell. (I have now replaced, "This is where I piss people off" with the ringing of the bell-same premise, basically it means prepare to assume your position in the center of the ring, I'll meet you there eventually I suppose). I personally, would never use another creature in my work because I respect the planet. I hope I have their support when my children write tawdry novels about how they never got to go to the circus or eat hamburgers! But, as a society we have been resin casting beetles and scorpions, capturing and pinning butterflies, honeybees et al for centuries. You had to think in the natural order of artistic progression that someone, some heavily wrinkled right hemisphere would think, "Hey why don't I capture and torture a __________."(insert name of any animal perceived to be of greater importance and less socially acceptable to maim than the aforementioned). Every living creature has equal right to propitious existence folks; beetles, butterflies, dogs and dog abusing artists.

And here is where I reheat my coffee and commence to lose my mind. We'll call this,"Bells rings and smoke emits from ears". Wink. Assholes, yes assholes, not anuses-in fact anuses are far more valuable than the assholes I speak of today, ask any woman who has ever had an episiotomy. I am a writer, an artist, a mom, a human, a free-thinker and a pacifist. I do not support the second amendment for all of those reasons and more. Just for good measure I shall add that I am a black woman and the right to bear arms is tantamount in my mind as the governments right to murder my children and the children of others who do not look, speak, think or worship as they do. That, as I have been recently told makes me "crazy and ignorant". (I also contribute to the decline of the American dollar by shopping at Walmart so we can afford to be a one-income family and actually raise my own children.) So, because I do not support fighting for a country, oil, and other assorted propaganda, I'm "crazy and ignorant". I'll take it! Bows and waits for tomatoes. See, as I would like to believe in my stupidity laden limited scope of reality, natural resources do not belong to anyone, rather they are on the planet to be utilized for the survival of all living creatures. When you start training your children to fight for their country and their oil and their right to express themselves you purport that these things are not already theirs to enjoy. This is learned behavior, indoctrination. Babies know one thing, how to survive on the resources of the womb and later the woman. They are free to scream when they are hungry and smile when they are sated. All other survival instincts as they are called, like tensing up when certain people walk too close or purchasing a gun to protect yourself are taught and learned, they are scare tactics and hate speak. If that belief system makes me "ignorant and crazy", so be it but note; believing that teaching and supporting violence as a means to subvert violence makes you an asshole.

Upon finishing this post and carrying on with my day, I heard the news of the verdict in the Sean Bell case. I hadn't thought about the case in a while, and it certainly was not the catalyst behind this post, but upon reading it and witnessing the level of pain the 'powers that be' have cast down, kinda makes you wonder,"If humans are incapable of self-control and sound personal judgment-why do we campaign,vote and exalt them to control and cast fair judgment on an entire nation?"

Every Wednesday I groom my favorite guy, it's the end of our extended weekend and his Monday for his away from home work. Now, Monday like actual, real Monday was my day to get all of my Aveda potions and beautify myself, because that's our Saturday. Laughs. I guess by now you can tell this is one of those days. Getting to the topic at hand, today I'm shaving the boy and I notice lots of platinum stubbies and the reality of our existence hits. It's just for a spell, but for that short period of time it was a moment of clarity. I felt the sheer magnitude of what it means to share my life with a complete stranger.

Of course 20 years into our relationship Joe is hardly a stranger, but when it comes down to it of all of the animals we are the only species that dates, mates and procreates with a deliberate stranger. I don't know why I thought of this today but I find it mesmerizing that at this point in my 34 year existence, I have spent 20 of those years with Joe. Joe, the guy from the club that night. Laughs. Am I insane or does anyone else have moments when you question a given and realize that you just accept it for what it is because everyone else does or because you just never thought about it until now?

Now, not like why is the sky blue, but like what exactly is blue? If you say it enough times it's a totally preposterous sounding word. I happen to love muted hues of blue and when I look at them the only thing that seems to tie the name of the color and the actual color is curvy lines. Blue feels like it looks written in cursive in french, but the french bleu is even more of an injustice to the lovely color, "bleu" should totally represent the color brown. Grimaces and is actually beginning to really think perhaps I'm a little off today, but I'm going to post anyway because I'm trying to ginger my creative palate every evening before I retire.

Back to Joe, so I'm just looking at this guy and thinking wow, you're just a guy...like any other guy walking down the street. It just boggles the mind how simple but complex life can be. The thought of how much effort goes into sustaining a marriage and building a family and a life together with random dude from the club. I wonder if he ever looks at me and thinks the same thing. Of course someone is reading and thinking, "Well, it's love"..I understand this and I'm not denying that I love this person with all that I am, but then I ask what is love but yet another weird sounding word. I certainly wouldn't have named the immense joy I feel everyday that is spent with dude from the club "love" it's so flat, love should end in a vowel, something sweet. Say, "I love you very much". And, then say, "Je t'aime beaucoup". Not "bO-koop" for the love of tumbled rocks, "bO-koo". See, hold it right there...Yes! With your lips slightly pursed. Now, that is how I feel about dude from the club. Laughs.

More breaking news, I completed my shadow box collage, I think I'm going to go with numbers for titles since I'm already getting cerebral cramping from naming my jewelry. Anyway, here goes. Everything in this piece is from existing stash or this week's trash.

I'm still working on my collage, it looks like I can wrap up the layout tonight and the technical stuff, like sealing and gluing everything in place. I already have another project lined up because the technical part of it feels too much like work, it'll interrupt the flow of my mojo. Winks.

Business has been slower than usual, it's kind of refreshing, for now. I have no desire to package and ship...in fact I'm all ideas and very little energy. Eh, it happens to the best of us I suppose.

I'm feeling very sensitive lately, not depressed, just aware and in touch. It's an interesting place to be. I feel most myself when I'm where I am right now. Funny how it involves a great deal of solitude and silence. There are times when I feel disconnected and it is during those times that I am most out-going and accessible, but when I'm here, I just want to be left alone to think and observe, to create. Joe burst from the bath yesterday, and informed me of a message he'd received about my writing. He suggested I write a book. Not as in the great publishing giants, the insane pressures of categorising and shelving your musings, but more at the independent level. It's such a beautiful thought, and I'm most grateful that I've found someone who believes in me beyond my own field of vision.

I'm giving it a mental go, and tossing some ideas about internally...writing comes from a place that I'm not always willing or able to visit. It gets tricky between these ears at times. On the flip, I can't possibly be the only one. If I can touch a handful of others with the sometimes obscure randomness that is me, I... "Yeah me." I just might make a difference. Ultimately, it is what creating is about, you know? Just making a difference; a ring for a finger, a painting for a wall, an outlet for the words you cannot speak, the realization of a dream.

Thinks for a moment. For the right now though, my change lies in this shadow box collage. I've taken some creative risks here. Yeah man, I'm leaping from tall buildings without my cape with this one. I haven't named it yet, but oh about 90% of this project is trash. I've got a few pages from this season's Urban Outfitters catalog, a Leinenkugel's cap (that's the brew on my Tea List) some scrap wire and the remains of some faux fall foliage. The case itself is new, well old, unfinished-project-kinda new and, the papers used for decoupage are leftover from last year's scrapped Father's Day cards project! Yes, I'm generally a bit of an unfocused mess, so this digging in the crates project is both an artistic and a personal growth venture. Well, back to work. Winks.

Stop...

Paper time!

Mentally raises the roof and sings, "Oh oh oh oh oh... Paper time!" I'm sitting here listening to Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Child and discussing the potential dangers surrounding our gene pool with the favorite guy. Yes, Puberty Man is commiserating again. I can't say she's actually a danger to the gene pool, I haven't met her yet. I'll stay Swiss on the topic until further observation. Favorite guy-while he knows I am the cat's meow isn't necessarily always the best judge of character or genetics. Laughs.

I'm working on a collage and wallowing in all of my paper crafting goodness; along with Biju kitten. I gotta say, there is nothing like cleansing the artistic palate with a bit of change. I've posted a few pictures of my work in progress-how BIG is that?! I can't speak on the outcome, I honestly don't know where it's going. I can however, say that it is a collage. As left hemisphere-like as it is to train the right hemisphere, it is what I'm trying to do whilst I grow as an "artiste".Laughs.

I'm feeling rather proud this evening as I blog and post pictures of an unfinished project. Friends and followers on the journey can recall a lifelong bout with "Perfection Paralysis". Perfection! Perfection-to the extent of shielding incomplete machinations and musings from my children during their infancy! I've come a long way baby and it feels good!

Life has been flowing lately, ideas and relationships, communications and, creative processes have taken on a natural acquiescence. I'm in touch and it feels great. Now, let's just hope nothing 'bad' happens while the floodgate is open. I've even ventured into a couple of NEW! relationships. "Tina, Kiandra; welcome aboard and, moreover thank you for joining me". Anyone who has ever been buried under the darkest layers of depression can understand the immense pleasure that results from these sunshiney days. I'm riding the wave, and I'm elated. Part of my new perspective, stems from an old ideology. Laughs. I compare it to my NYC subway riding days-standing at the edge of the platform, as the stifling heat and funky ass, crowded train approaches, I'm thinking, "I have two choices, just two-I can stand here indefinitely, waiting for a comfortable ride or... I can make do with the chance I have. In the end, I'll arrive at the same destination, it's just a matter of when". Well I'm here, and you're reading about it-so needless to say, I caught my train and haven't missed my stop. Winks and smiles.